England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Guardian and ward -- Fiction; Youth -- Conduct of life -- Fiction
"This is all about myself, but now I have nobody in the world to love,
or who loves me, so that I shall grow more selfish and egotistical than
ever. Who wouldn't? I'm glad your brother is on the way to recovery.
"I may say that my religion has all gone to pieces as well as
everything else. God seems nowhere. He hasn't listened to me. I feel He
hasn't cared. He wanted Waddy and He took her, and He doesn't take the
slightest notice of me, or cares for me at all—I have agonized my soul
in prayer to no purpose at all. This is all I have to say.
"The Bubble at last has burst—
"YOUR POOR BURST BUBBLE.
"Are you going to turn me out of the little Vicarage now that Waddy
has gone?"
It was rather a relief than otherwise to Mrs. Wharnecliffe when
Gentian had left her and returned to the Vicarage. She was concerned
about the girl, but could not comfort her. She marvelled at her still
icy composure, but she was a woman of experience and guessed that
underneath was a depth of grief which she could hardly fathom.
She had been touched by the faithful love and adoration shown by Miss
Ward to her charge, but she had not realized how much it was returned
by the merry light-hearted girl.
And now Gentian was home again in the empty house, and was gazing out
upon her flower-beds, wishing that winter would return and be more in
unison with her feelings.
Kate the little maid had gone to the village on an errand. When the
latch of the gate was lifted, Gentian thought it might be her returning.
Then a short quick rap on the door made her start, and flush with
sudden excitement. Surely no one but Thorold Holt knocked like that!
In a moment she was out in the hall and at the door.
"Oh, Cousin Thor!" was her only exclamation, but seizing him by both
hands she dragged him into the sitting-room.
He smiled at her as he relieved himself of his light overcoat, then he
seated himself in the big arm-chair by the fire.
"I wonder if I can do you any good by coming," he said. "I am on my way
back to Cornwall. I arrived last night. The Wharnecliffes are putting
me up."
Gentian was struggling now for self-control. To her horror, tears were
rising to her eyes.
In her impulsive fashion she exclaimed:
"If I cry, take no notice—I feel I would like to lie down on the
hearthrug and sob myself to death."
Then she drew her hand lightly across her eyes.
"It is only the sight of you, just the same as ever, sitting there
looking at me—that breaks me down. There! I'm better. It's waste of
time crying whilst you're here. I suppose you have a flying half-hour
to spend with me?"
"No—I am in no hurry. Can you give me lunch?"
Gentian flew out of the room. She returned after a short consultation
with Kate in the kitchen. A ray of brightness was in her face.
Then she sobered down. For some minutes she talked of Miss Ward's last
hours.
"I wrote to you, but there's nothing like talking," she said, with a
long-drawn breath, when she had told him all.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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