British -- Norway -- Fiction; Conduct of life -- Fiction; Norwegians -- England -- Fiction
Out of the whole list there were only two situations for which he could
even inquire, and he soon found that for each of these there were
hundreds of applicants. At first his natural hopefulness reasserted
itself, and each morning he would set out briskly, resolving to leave no
stone unturned, but when days and weeks had passed by in the monotonous
search, his heart began to fail him; he used to start from the little
back street in Vauxhall doggedly, dull despair eating at his heart, and
a sickening, ever-present consciousness that he was only an
insignificant unit struggling to find standing room in a world where
selfishness and money-grubbing reigned supreme.
Each week brought him of course letters from Norway, his uncle sent him
letters of introduction to various London firms, but each letter brought
him only fresh disappointment. As the consul had told him, the market
was already overcrowded, and though very possibly he might have met with
work in the previous summer when all was well with him, no one seemed
inclined to befriend this son of a bankrupt, with his bitter tone and
proud bearing; the impression he gave every one was that he was an
Ishmaelite with his hand against every man, and it certainly did seem
that at present every man’s hand was against him.
People write so much about the dangers of success and prosperity, and
the hardening effects of wealth, that they sometimes forget the other
side of the picture. Failure is always supposed to make a man patient
and humble and good; it rarely does so, unless to begin with his spirit
has been wakened from sleep. The man whose faith has been a mere
conventionality, or the man who like Frithiof has professed to believe
in life, becomes inevitably bitter and hard when all things are against
him. It is just then when a man is hard and bitter, just then when
everything else has failed him, that the devil comes to the fore
offering pleasures which in happier times would have had no attraction.
At first certain aspects of London life had startled Frithiof; but he
speedily became accustomed to them; if he thought of them at all it was
with indifference rather than disgust. One day however, he passed with
seeming abruptness into a new state of mind. Sick with disappointment
after the failure of a rather promising scheme suggested to him by one
of the men to whom his uncle had written, he walked through the crowded
streets too hopeless and wretched even to notice the direction he had
taken, and with a miserable perception that his last good card was
played, and that all hope of success was over. His future was an
absolute blank, his present a keen distress, his past too bright in
contrast to bear thinking of.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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