A laugh a day keeps the doctor awayCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
A laugh a day keeps the doctor away
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
American wit and humor; Anecdotes
Yet it was immediately to develop that in a deceased state, he had a
financial standing which had been denied him in the flesh. For, with
that desire to do justice speedily which ever marks the legal
profession, a claim agent of the railroad got hold of the widow before
any other lawyer could reach her and hurried her to his office and there
showed her five hundred dollars in shiny new bills, which was more money
that she thought there was in the world. With one eager hand she reached
for this incredible fortune and with the other, using haste lest the
beneficent white gentleman should recover from his impulses of
generosity, she signed on the dotted line _A_ of the quit claim.
Another colored woman who had come with her to witness this triumph and
who was standing behind her, perfectly pop-eyed with envy and
admiration, said:
“Clarissa, whut you reckin you goin’ do now, sence you had all dis
luck?”
Before the widow answered she lifted a rustling twenty from off the top
of the delectable heap and fanned herself with it and inhaled its
fragrance; and then she said:
“I don’t know ez I shall do anything—fur a spell. I got to wait till
time is healed my wounds an’ I’s spent dis yere money. Of co’se in the
yeahs to come I may marry ag’in an’ then ag’in I may not—who kin tell?
But, gal, I tells you right now, ef ever I does marry ag’in my second
husband is suttinly goin’ be a railroad man.”
§ 107 Bumpy Times for the Late Lamented
The late Mr. Donovan had had a very close call from being a dwarf.
Indeed, there are dwarfs in circuses not many inches shorter than he
was. Despite his diminutive bulk and the handicap of lack of height he
nevertheless had succeeded in the contracting business and when he died
he left a tidy estate and his widow mourned him properly.
On the day before the funeral, having finished the preparations for the
wake, she sat in the parlor of her home when Mr. McKenna, an old friend
of the family, was announced. Dressed in his Sunday best Mr. McKenna
entered and having shaken Mrs. Donovan’s hand stated that he would be
unable to attend the ceremonies that evening owing to other engagements.
He asked, therefore, if he might be permitted to take a last look at the
deceased.
“Help yourself,” said the widow. “He’s laid out upstairs in the front
room. Just you walk up, Mr. McKenna.”
So Mr. McKenna walked up. After the lapse of a few minutes he tip-toed
down again, wiping away his tears.
The widow removed the handkerchief from her eyes.
“Did you think to close the hall door as you came down, Mr. McKenna?”
she asked.
“I think so, madam,” he said. “I was so overcome wit’ me grief I didn’t
take much note. I think so, but I won’t be sure.”
“Would you make sure, thin,” she said. “It’s twice to-day already the
cat’s had him downstairs.”
§ 108 The Genesis of an Old Favorite
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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