"I love you, I adore you. I have broken your heart, my angel, but it was
love that forced me to it. Forgive me, and tell me if you can that there
is hope,--a shadow is enough. Hope that I may some day press you to this
bosom and call you mine,--mine for eternity! Virginia, hear me!--do not
look so cold and cruel; you are a stone, while I am burning! I have
loved you since the first moment I saw you. I wish my heart were dust
for you to trample on, if it may not beat forever close to yours. With
you as my bride I could conquer worlds. I could become an Angelo, a
Rubens. Without you I shall die!"
He seized my hands again and covered them with kisses.
"Mr. Barr, Mr. Barr! I cannot listen to you further. Let me go,--you are
mad."
"Yes, I am mad,--mad with love for you, sweet Virginia."
I tried to speak calmly, yet decisively, though from fear and pity I was
trembling like a leaf. I told him that I could not grant what he asked.
I loved him as a friend, as a brother almost, and would do anything to
serve him but consent to become his wife. His studio was no place for
such a conversation, I said. Let him come to my house, after he had
thought it over. He would agree then that he had been carried away by
the impulse of the moment, by the tension of his overstrained nerves,
and that a marriage between us would be an absurdity. Were not our
tastes and habits totally unlike?
Perhaps these were no words to address to an overwrought soul, mastered
by passion. But, as I have said, I was terrified and bewildered. The
strong desire I felt to treat him with all the gentleness and tender
consideration I could muster, must have been to some extent neutralized
by my anxiety to put an end to the interview. As I spoke, his eyes
seemed to grow darker and to glow with fire, and the cunning, satyr-like
expression I had noticed before to intensify.
"Pardon me," I said, "for the pain I cause you. My presence can only
increase your suffering. I will leave you, and if you wish, we will
talk of this to-morrow."
"To-morrow!" he answered; "there may be no to-morrow. It is still
to-day! still to-day!" he repeated with a sort of chuckle. "I will live
to-day, though I may die to-morrow. My goddess, my queen is here, and
love--love--love!" With a bound he folded me in his huge arms and
pressed my face against his lips three times in a mad embrace.
"Coward! wretch!" I screamed; but I was powerless as a babe.
He let me go.
"I will not hurt you, my own true love. A kiss can do no harm. Once
more!" and he threw his arms wide open for a fresh embrace.
But another voice interrupted his purpose. "Coward! you shall not touch
a hair of her head."
It was Mr. Spence who spoke; we had not noticed the door open. He strode
forward and placed himself between me and the artist. On the threshold
stood Miss Kingsley, and I felt the blood rush to my cheeks as our eyes
met. I would gladly have given half my fortune to blot out the past few
minutes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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