England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Mate selection -- Fiction
she was once more Rose, an individual creature, feeling the blood run in
her veins, and the light lighten upon her, and the world spread open
before her.
If I have freedom in my love,
And in my soul am free--
I suppose this was how she felt. She had got back that consciousness
which is sometimes bitter and sometimes sad, but without which we cannot
live--the consciousness that she was no shadow in the world, but
herself; no reflection of another’s will and feelings, but possessor of
her own.
When her mother and she were left alone, Rose got up from where she was
sitting and drew a low chair, which belonged to one of the children, to
her mother’s knee. Mrs. Damerel, too, had watched Agatha’s lingering
exit with some signs of impatience, as if she, too, had something to
say; but Rose had not noticed this, any more than her mother had noticed
the new impulse which was visible in her child. The girl was so full of
it that she began to speak instantly, without waiting for any question.
“Mamma,” she said, softly, “I have not been a good daughter to you; I
have left you to take all the trouble, and I have not tried to be of
use. I want to tell you that I have found it out, and that I will try
with all my heart to be different from to-day.”
“Rose, my dear child!”--Mrs. Damerel was surprised and troubled. The
tears, which rose so easily now, came with a sudden rush to her eyes.
She put her arms around the girl, and drew her close, and kissed her. “I
have never found fault with you, my darling,” she said.
“No, mamma; and that makes me feel it more. But it shall be different; I
am sorry, more sorry than I can tell you; but it shall be different from
to-day.”
“But, Rose, what has put this into your head to-day?”
A wavering blush came and went upon Rose’s face. She had it almost in
her heart to tell her mother; but yet there was nothing to tell, and
what could she say?
“I--can’t tell, mamma. It is mild and like spring. I think it was being
out, and hearing people speak--kindly”--
Here Rose paused, and, in her turn, let fall a few soft tears. She had
gone out very little, scarcely stirring beyond the garden, since her
father’s death, and Mrs. Damerel thought it was the mere impulse of
reviving life; unless indeed--
“My dear, did Mr. Incledon say anything to you!” she asked, with a vague
hope.
“Mr. Incledon? Oh, no! except to ask me if you would see him--on
business. What was his business?” said innocent Rose, looking up into
her mother’s face.
“Rose,” said Mrs. Damerel, “I was just about to speak to you on a very
important matter when you began. My dear, I must tell you at once what
Mr. Incledon’s business was. It was about you.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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