LOL. Now fie upon't, who would be an orator's wife, and not a gentlewoman, if she could choose? A lady is the most sweet lascivious life, congies and kisses--the tire, O the tire, made castle upon castle, jewel upon jewel, knot upon knot; crowns, garlands, gardings,[142] and what not? the hood, the rebato,[143] the French fall,[144] the loose-bodied gown, the pin in the hair; no clawing the pate, then picking the teeth, and every day change; when we poor souls must come and go for every man's pleasure: and what's a lady more than another body? we have legs and hands, and rolling eyes, hanging lips, sleek brows, cherry cheeks, and other things as ladies have--but the fashion carries it away. _Enter Mistress_ COLLAQUINTIDA. COL. Why how now, Mistress Prate? i' th' old disease still? will it never be better? cannot a woman find one kind man amongst twenty? O the days that I have seen, when the law of a woman's wit could have put her husband's purse to execution! LOL. O Mistress Collaquintida, mine is even the unnaturallest man to his wife---- COL. Faith, for the most part, all scholars are so, for they take so upon them to know all things, that indeed they know nothing; and besides, they are with study and ease grown so unwieldy, that a woman shall ne'er want a sore stomach that's troubled with them. LOL. And yet they must have the government of all. COL. True, and great reason they have for it: but a wise man will put it in a woman's hand: what! she'll save what he spends. LOL. You have a pretty ruff, how deep is it? COL. Nay this is but shallow; marry, I have a ruff is a quarter deep, measured by the yard? LOL. Indeed! by the yard? COL. By the standard, I assure you: you have a pretty set too! how big is the steel you set with? LOL. As big as is[145] reasonable sufficient:--pity of my life, I have forgot myself; if my husband should rise from his study, and miss me, we should have such a coil. COL. A coil, why what coil? if he were my husband, and did but thwart me, I would ring him so many alarums, sound him so many brass trumpets, beat him so many drums to his confusion, and thunder him such a peal of great-shot, that I would turn his brain in the pan, and make him mad with an eternal silence. LOL. O Mistress Collaquintida, but my husband's anger is the worst-favouredst, without all conscience, of any man's in all Sicily; he is even as peevish as a sick monkey, and as waspish as an ill-pleas'd bride the second morning. COL. Let your wrath be reciprocal, and pay him at his own weapon--but to the purpose for which I came. The party you wot of commends him to you in this diamond; he that met the party you know, and said the party's party was a party of a partly pretty understanding. LOL. O, the Lord Alphonso.