STEPH. As many good angels guard thee, as thou hast given me bad ones to seduce me! for these deputy devils damn worse than the old ones. Now, coz, pray listen; listen after my transformation: I will henceforth turn an apostate to prodigality; I will eat cheese and onions, and buy lordships; and will not you think this strange? ROB. I am glad you're merry, uncle; but this is fix'd Betwixt an uncle and a nephew's love; Though my estate be poor, revenues scant, Whilst I have any left, you shall not want. STEPH. Why, gramercy! by this hand I'll make thee an alderman, before I die, do but follow my steps. [_Exeunt._ _Enter_ WIDOW _and_ CLOWN. WID. Sirrah, will the churchman come I sent you for? CLOWN. Yes, mistress, he will come; but pray, resolve me one thing for my long service. What business have you with the churchman? Is it to make your will, or to get you a new husband? WID. Suppose to make my will, how then? CLOWN. Then I would desire you to remember me, mistress; I have serv'd you long, and that's the best service to a woman: make a good will, if you mean to die, that it may not be said, _Though most women be long-liv'd, yet they all die with an ill-will._ WID. So, sir; suppose it be for marriage? CLOWN. Why, then, remember yourself, mistress: take heed how you give away the head; it stands yet upon the shoulders of your widowhood: the loving, embracing ivy has yet the upper place in the house; if you give it to the holly, take heed, there's pricks in holly; or if you fear not the pricks, take heed of the wands; you cannot have the pricks without the wands: you give away the sword, and must defend yourself with the scabbard: these are pretty instructions of a friend; I would be loth to see you cast down, and not well taken up. WID. Well, sir, well, let not all this trouble you; see, he's come: will you begone? _Enter_ DOCTOR.[53] CLOWN. I will first give him a caveat, to use you as kindly as he can. [_To the_ DOCTOR.] If you find my mistress have a mind to this coupling at barley-break, let her not be the last couple to be left in hell.[54] DOC. I would I knew your meaning, sir. CLOWN. If she have a mind to a fresh husband or so, use her as well as you can; let her enter into as easy bands as may be. DOC. Sir, this is none of my traffic; I sell no husbands. CLOWN. Then you do wrong, sir; for you take money for 'em: what woman can have a husband, but you must have custom for him? and often the ware proves naught too--not worth the impost. DOC. Your man's pregnant[55] and merry, mistress. WID. He's saucy, sir. Sirrah, you'll begone?