In spite of seeking relief from my uncongenial surroundings in
religion and theology, I did not join myself to any one else. There
was a so-called "Pi Squad," or Bible class, held weekly, but I only
went once, and didn't like it. I was always peculiarly sensitive about
priggishness in those who professed themselves to be religious openly,
and generally thought I detected priggishness in any "Bible circle"
or similar institution that I came across. I think my theology
mainly consisted in speculations about the future state--I remember
I emphatically declined to believe in hell--and my religion consisted
mainly in fairly regular attendance at Matins and Communion.
Another effect of the intensity with which I hated my surroundings was
that I read a lot of good novels--George Eliot, the Brontës, Scott,
Dickens, Jane Austen, Thackeray, Besant, etc. A book which I read
over and over again was Arthur Benson's _Hill of Trouble, and other
Stories_. Those legends, with their imaginative setting, charm of
language and beautiful religious ideas were more restful to my unquiet
spirit than anything else I read.
The actual conditions of life at the Shop were pretty barbaric. The
aim was to make it as much like barracks as possible. Each term was
housed in a different side of the square of buildings which form the
Academy, and the fourth term were spread among the houses of the other
terms as corporals. My first term I shared a room with three other
fellows. I think it was the ugliest room I have ever lived in, without
exception. It had high whitewashed brick walls. In each corner was
a bed which folded up against the wall in the day time, and was
concealed by a square of print curtains. There were a deal table, four
windsor chairs, a shelf with four basins, and a cupboard with four
lockers. All the woodwork was painted khaki. The contrast with the
little study at Rugby, with its diamond-paned window, its matchboard
panelling surmounted by a paper of one's own choosing, its ledge
for photos and ornaments ("bim ledge" so called), its eggshell blue
cupboards, baize curtains and window box, was striking.
It used to be the custom to go to and from the bathroom attired in a
sponge, in connexion with which an amusing incident once happened.
A cadet in his second year was on the bathroom landing, when he
perceived that the mother and sisters of another cadet were coming
upstairs. From sounds in the bathroom he realized that they would
meet a naked corporal just as they reached the landing. The door of
the bathroom opened outwards, and with admirable presence of mind
he rushed back, and putting his back against the door and his feet
against the wall, imprisoned the corporal. The corporal, in the
approved Shop version of Billingsgate, began to blaspheme at the top
of his voice, so when the ladies reached the top of the stairs they
saw a vision of a cadet with his feet to the wall and his back to a
door singing at the top of his voice to drown a Commotion within!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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