English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
She could not bear the amateur; feeling within herself some sacred fire
that made her “an artist” whatever she took up--or dropped. She had a
particular dislike, too, of machine-made articles; for her, personality
must be deep-woven into everything--look at flowers, how wonderful they
were in that way, growing quietly to perfection, each in its corner,
and inviting butterflies to sip their dew! She knew, for she had been
told it so often, that she was the crown of creation--the latest thing
in women, who were, of course, the latest thing in creatures. There
had never, till quite recently, been a woman like her, so awfully
interested in so many things, so likely to be interested in so many
more. She had flung open all the doors of life, and was so continually
going out and coming in, that life had some considerable difficulty in
catching a glimpse of her at all. Just as the cinematograph was the
future of the theatre, so was she the future of women, and in the words
of the poet “prou’ title.” To sip at every flower before her wings
closed; if necessary, to make new flowers to sip at. To smoke the whole
box of cigarettes straight off, and in the last puff of smoke expire!
And withal, no feverishness, only a certain reposeful and womanly
febrility; a mere perpetual glancing from quick-sliding eyes, to see
the next move, to catch the new movement--God bless it! And, mind
you, a high sense of duty--perhaps a higher sense of duty than that
of any woman who had gone before; a deep and intimate conviction that
women had an immensity of leeway to make up, that their old, starved,
stunted lives must be avenged, and that right soon. To enlarge the
horizon--this was the sacred duty! No mere Boccaccian or Louis Quinze
cult of pleasurable sensations; no crude, lolling, plutocratic dollery
of a spoiled dame. No! the full, deep river of sensations nibbling each
other’s tails. Life was real, life was earnest, and time the essence of
its contract.
To say that she had favourite books, plays, men, dogs, colours, was
to do her but momentary justice. A deeper equity assigned her only
one favourite--the next; and, for the sake of that one favourite, no
Catharine, no Semiramis or Messalina, could more swiftly dispose of
all the others. With what avidity she sprang into its arms, drained
its lips of kisses, looking hurriedly the while for its successor; for
Heaven alone--she felt--knew what would happen to her if she finished
drinking before she caught sight of that next necessary one.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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