The language was hard enough, but the manner harder and more offensive.
I had never spoken to her before with anything like the severity now
used. The result of this intemperance of speech on my part, the reader
has seen. Polly gave notice that she would leave, and I accepted the
notice. For a short time after the girl retired from my room, I
maintained a state of half indignant independence; but, as to being
satisfied with myself, that was out of the question. I had lost my
temper, and, as is usual in such cases, had been harsh, and it might
be, unjust. I was about to lose the services of a domestic, whose good
qualities so far overbalanced all defects and shortcomings, that I
could hardly hope to supply her place. How could the children give her
up? This question came home with a most unpleasant suggestion of
consequences. But, as the disturbance of my feelings went on subsiding,
and thought grew clearer and clearer, that which most troubled me was a
sense of injustice towards Polly. The suggestion came stealing into my
mind, that the something wrong about her might involve a great deal
more than I had, in a narrow reference of things to my own affairs,
imagined. Polly was certainly changed; but, might not the change have
its origin in mental conflict or suffering, which entitled her to pity
and consideration, instead of blame?
This was a new thought, which in no way tended to increase a feeling of
self-approval.
"She is human, like the rest of us," said I, as I sat talking over the
matter with myself, "and every human heart has its portion of
bitterness. The weak must bear in weakness, as well as the strong in
strength; and the light burden rests as painfully on the back that
bends in feebleness, as does the heavy one on Atlas-shoulders. We are
too apt to regard those who serve us as mere working machines. Rarely
do we consider them as possessing like wants and weaknesses, like
sympathies and yearnings with ourselves. Anything will do for them.
Under any external circumstances, is their duty to be satisfied."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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