"After some sparring, we laid a bet as to how the people of the first house we came to, would decide the question of our comparative beauty, 'I have it!' said he, 'We are foreigners; talk the most villainous jargon you can invent, and trust me for the rest. We shall hear criticisms enough, I'll warrant.' "We were ripe for fun; and reaching a small farm-house, Fitz. opened the gate. 'Recollect we know no Inglese!' We were grotesque figures, wearing bell-crowned hats of white felt, drab wrappers, coated with mud, and green-hunting shirts. Add a beard of three days' growth, and brigandish mustachios, and you have our 'picters.' The men were off at work, but the women peeped at us from all quarters. Fitz. walked meekly up to a girl who was washing in the yard. "'_Avezyouvuspaimum_?' "'What!' said she, wringing the suds from her hands. "'_Wevusivusfaimetsoif_,' winking at me for confirmation. "'Yaw! pax vobiscum!' returned I, in imitation of poor Wamba; and pointing into my throat. "'Two forrinners,' said an older woman. 'Come, see 'em, chillen.' 'You are hungry, ain't you?' said the girl. "'_Novuscomprendum_.' "'And thirsty, too?' to me. "I put my finger to my mouth, with a voracious snap. Away she ran, and was back in a minute, with a plate of cold Irish potatoes and a bowl of buttermilk; a younger sister following with another." "What _did_ you do?" "I drank it! absolutely! I, who had never looked at a churn without shuddering. I desired to make a favorable impression. The children were gaping at the sights; and I contrived, before handing the bowl to one of them, to drop a piece of money into the milk left in the bottom 'for manners.' I wished it back in my pocket, as the old hag, after a prolonged stare, pointed her skinny hand at me, '_Sary, I think this 'ere one is rayther the wuss looking, don't you_?' "Fitz. burst into a laugh, that scared them all in one direction, while we beat a retreat in the other." "A hearty laugh helpeth digestion," said Dr. Carleton, setting back in his chair. "Miss Ida, if you and Charley will undertake my practice, I am in hopes that the casualty of the afternoon will be less disastrous than we apprehend." "What casualty?" asked Charley. The doctor explained: "And you seize upon a prime lot of choice spirits, as a substitute for your tinctures and drugs. Fie, Doctor! I thought you were a temperance man!" "I have the best right to your services," said Carry, clasping her hands around his arm, and walking with him towards the parlor. "And I forewarn you, I have enough for you to do. Ida and I have moped here for a fortnight, without a single frolic, and with an alarmingly scanty supply of beaux." He looked down at her, as he would have done at Elle. "You ride, do you not?" "There is a pleasant fiction that we have morning excursions, daily; but history records but three such felicitous events." "Where was Arthur?"