"No, no!" she cried, with a quick movement of her hand as if to stay my
words. "Don't say that. You may remain my friend if you like--but you
may never be my lover--never!"
"Never your lover!" I gasped, starting back as though she had dealt me
a blow. I felt at that moment as though all I appreciated in life was
slipping from me. I had staked all, everything, and lost. "Ah, do not
give me this hasty answer," I urged. "I have been too eager; I am a
fool. Yet I love you with a stronger, fiercer passion than any man can
ever love you with, Eva. You are my very life," and notwithstanding her
effort to snatch her hand away, I again raised it reverently to my lips.
"No, no. This is a mere summer dream, Mr. Urwin," she said, with a cool
firmness well assumed, although she avoided my gaze. "I have flirted
with you, it is true, and we have spent many pleasant hours together,
but I have never taken you seriously. You were always so merry and
careless, you know."
"You did not believe, then, that I really loved you?" I observed,
divining her thoughts.
"Exactly," she answered, still very grave. "If I had thought so, I
should never have allowed our acquaintance to ripen as it has done."
"Are you annoyed that I should have declared only what is but the
absolute truth?" I asked.
"Not at all," she responded quickly, with something of her old self in
her low, sweet voice. "How can I be annoyed?"
"And you will forgive my hasty declaration?" I urged.
"There is nothing to forgive," she replied, smiling. "I only regret
that you have misconstrued my friendship into love."
I was silent. These last words of hers crushed all hope from my soul.
She sat with her hand trailing listlessly in the water, apparently
intent upon the long rushes waving in the green depths below.
"Then," I said in a disappointed voice, half-choked with emotion, "then
you cannot love me, Eva, after all?"
"I did not say so," she answered slowly, almost mechanically.
"What?" I cried joyously, again bending forward towards her. "Will you
then try and love me--will you defer your answer until we know one
another better? Say that you will."
Again she shook her head with sorrowful air. She looked at me with a
kind of mingled grief and joy, bliss embittered by despair.
"Why should I deceive you?" she asked. "Why, indeed, should you deceive
yourself?"
"I do not deceive myself," I protested, "I only know that I adore you;
that you are the sole light of my life, and that I love you devotedly."
"Ah! And in a month, perhaps, you will tell a similar story to some
other woman," she observed doubtingly. "Men are too often fickle."
"I swear that I'll never do that," I declared. "My affairs of the heart
have been few."
"But Mary?" she suggested, and I knew from her tone that she had been
thinking deeply of her.
"Ours was a mere boy and girl liking," I hastened to assure her. "Ask
her, and she will tell you the same. We never really loved."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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