"True," I said. "But even if she again loves me she has no further
claim whatever upon me, for we mutually agreed to separate and have both
long been free."
"And if she thought that I loved you?" Eva asked.
In an instant I guessed the reason of her disinclination to listen to my
avowal. She feared the jealousy of her friend!
"She would only congratulate us," I answered. "Surely you have no
cause for uneasiness in that direction?"
"Cause for uneasiness!" she repeated, starting, while at that same
instant the colour died from her sweet face. Next second, however, she
recovered herself, and with a forced smile said, "Of course I have no
cause. Other circumstances, however, prevent us being more than
friends."
"And may I not be made aware of them?" I inquired in vague wonder.
"No," she said quickly. "Not now. It is quite impossible."
"But all my future depends upon your decision," I urged. "Do not answer
lightly, Eva. You must surely have seen that I love you?"
"Yes," she answered, sighing. "I confess to having seen it. Every
woman knows instinctively when she is loved and when despised. The
knowledge has caused me deep, poignant regret."
"Why?"
"Because," and she hesitated. "Because I have dreaded this day. I
feared to tell you the truth."
"You haven't told me the truth," I said, looking her straight in the
face.
"I have," she protested.
"The truth is, then, that you would love me, only you dare not," I said
clearly. "Is that so?"
She nodded, her eyes again downcast, and I saw that hot tears were in
them--tears she was unable longer to repress.
When the heart is fullest of love, and the mouth purest with truth,
there seems a cruel destiny in things which often renders our words
worst chosen and surest to defeat the ends they seek.
"Then whom do you fear?" I asked, after a pause.
She shook her head. Only a low sob escaped her.
"May we not love in secret," I suggested, "if it is really impossible to
love openly?"
"No, no!" she said, lifting her white hand in protest. "We must not
love. I tell you that it is all a dream impossible of realisation.
To-day we must part. Leave me, and we will both forget this meeting."
"But surely you will not deliberately wreck both our lives, Eva?" I
cried, dismayed. "Your very words have betrayed that you really
entertain some affection for me, although you deny it for reasons that
are inexplicable. Why not be quite plain and straightforward, as I am?"
"I have been quite clear," she answered. "I tell you that we can never
love one another."
"Why?"
"For a reason which some day ere long will be made plain to you," she
answered in a low voice, her pure countenance at that moment drawn and
ashen pale. "In that day you will hate my very name, and yet will think
kindly of my memory, because I have to-day refused to listen to you and
have given you your freedom."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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