in the posture of a melancholy madman with a face, as I might have
thought, dark with the shadow of eclipsed reason.
Breakfast ended, he quitted the table to fetch his pipe.
‘I had better have come without a man, after all,’ said he, laughing;
‘one condition of sea-going should be that a fellow must help himself;
and, upon my word, it comes to it no matter how many servants he brings
with him. ’Tis the same ashore too, after all. It is the mistress who
does most of the waiting’; and thus pleasantly speaking he went to his
cabin.
Miss Laura made as if to rise.
‘An instant, Miss Jennings,’ said I. ‘I have seen nothing of Wilfrid of
late years. You, on the other hand, have been a good deal thrown with
him during the last three months. Tell me, then, what you think of his
manner and language just now--that piece of behaviour, I mean, from
which he started, so to speak, into perfect rationality?’
‘It was a sort of mood,’ she answered, speaking low, ‘that I have
noticed in him, but never before saw so defined.’
‘It was madness,’ said I, with a shake of the head.
‘The shadow of a passing mood of madness,’ said she. ‘Was he on deck
with you before breakfast?’
I answered yes.
‘Were his spirits good?’
‘Irrationally good, I thought. It was the sight of the flying schooner,
no doubt, the picture of the running seas, the sense of headlong speed,
with the black grin of the forecastle gun to quicken his wild craving
into a very delirium of expectation and hope. But that kind of glee is
quite as alarming as his melancholy.’
‘Yes, but you will find his melancholy strong as his spirits seem high.
Do I make myself understood, Mr. Monson?’
‘Quite. One moment, you mean, he is looking down upon this
extraordinary plan of his--this goose-chase, I must call it--with a
bounding heart from the edge of a chasm; the next he is at the very
bottom of the pit gazing upwards in an anguish of dejection. The deeper
the precipice the gloomier the depth where he brings up. Certainly I
understood you, Miss Jennings. But here is now a consideration that
is bothering me,’ I continued, sending a look aft, and up at the
open skylight and around, to make sure that we were unheard. ‘I am
his cousin. As his associate in this voyage I have a right to regard
myself as his best friend, for the time being anyway. Now what is my
duty in the face of a condition of mind whose capriciousness fills it
with menace? He brings me here as his right-hand man to help him, but
to help him in or to what? I seem to understand his programme, yet I
protest I cannot render it intelligible to my own common sense. Many
might think me “wanting” myself to be here at all; but I will not go
into that; what I mean is, is it not my duty to hinder him if possible
from prosecuting a chase which, in my humble judgment, by continuing
to irritate him with the disappointment of hope, may end in rendering
organic what is now, let us pray, merely functional and fugitive?’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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