He who first drew or modelled Love with wings Might paint a swallow; but how many things In Love are different from a bird! Not light To him who bears the weight, nor quick in flight, Unmoved the imp upon his shoulders sits. How can a thing have _wings_ that never flits? For sober folk three bowls alone I mix, For health, cheer, sleep; the order thus I fix. The first they toss off; _that’s_ for stomach’s sake. The next, for love and pleasure, all may take. The third, the few who are with wisdom blessed; It sends them home to bed, to take their rest. The fourth’s no longer _mine_! ’tis “drinkers’ bowl.” A fifth they call for; then they shout and howl. The sixth sends forth the party for a lark. The seventh to fight and bear the drunkard’s mark. Lawsuits the eighth. The ninth breeds furious talking; The tenth, to rave and lose the power of walking. Small though the bowl, much wine, if poured in neat, The head at first affects, and last the feet. ARISTOPHON Bad luck to him who _second_ came to wed! The first I blame not; home a wife he led Not knowing what a curse a wife might prove, What deadly feuds oft spring from miscalled love. But he who married next, in haste unwise Rushed to his fate with fully opened eyes. ALEXIS Your Sophists say, it is not Love almighty That roams on wings, but _lovers_ that are flighty. Love wrongly bears the blame; ’twas one who knew Nought of his ways who first winged Cupids drew. A drunken party coming up! To evade them I must try. My sole chance now to keep my cloak is having wings to fly. Old Chaerephon some trick is always trying, As now, to dine without his share supplying, Early he goes to shops which cooks beset, To whom by contract crockery is let, And when he sees one choosing dishes, “Say,” He cries, “what house do _you_ cook for to-day?” So, when the door’s left gaping, he contrives To slip in as the first guest that arrives. In wine and man this difference appears: The old man bores you, but the old wine cheers. Men do not, like your wine, improve by age; The more their years, the less their ways engage. Aristotle, though the first to put into words the definition of the ridiculous, can furnish no extracts which come within our present scope. Indeed the great teacher considered comedy from its dramatic side rather than as mere humor. One of his pupils, Theophrastus, left us some fragments, especially a short collection of character sketches which show both wit and humor. _OF SLOVENLINESS_