It happened shortly after this that a sergeant and a private were out spying around, and took different points for observation. After a while the private crawled up to the sergeant with a look of suppressed excitement on his face, and in a tense whisper said: “Here’s a fine piece of luck for us, sergeant! There’s four thousand Germans over yonder, and there’s only you and me for ’em. Won’t we rake some quids in now?” SPECIMEN WANTED Mr. Horace Wyndham has published a book on his military experiences, in which he quotes the reply of an Egyptian clerk to a demand for 1,000 rations for a Middlesex Regiment. “Honorable Sir—Estimable telegram to hand, but not understood. Male sex I know well; ditto female sex. Middlesex, however, not familiar. Please send specimen.” A LONE EXCEPTION He was a new recruit home on leave. “Halloa,” said a friend, “how are you going on? Applied for a commission yet?” “Not me. All the rest in my battalion are sending in their names, I think; but I say that a regiment needs at least one regular, steady private.” CLEVER EXPEDIENT During a sham fight which constituted part of a certain infantry battalion’s training for the war a company was told off to follow up the retreating “enemy.” For this purpose the pursuers, who had been having a strenuous time, had to cross a fairly wide river, and were marched to the nearest bridge, which was about four miles away. Imagine their disappointment on arriving to find this notice attached to the bridge by the “enemy:” “This bridge is blown up.” But the officer in command of the pursuers was a man of action, and promptly attached another notice to one of his leading men and proceeded to march them across the bridge. They had almost crossed it, when an umpire suddenly appeared, frantically waving his hands and exclaiming: “This bridge is blown up; all these men are drowned!” The commanding officer made no reply, but simply pointed to his notice, which read: “This company is swimming across!” WHICH WOULD YOU PATRONIZE? It was Saturday night, and the rival butchers were shouting against each other. “’Ere’s a piece of beef,” shouted one, “any price yer like. No war prices here.” The other was equal to the occasion. “Come ’ere,” he shouted. “Don’t ’ave piece at any price; have piece with honor.” SARCASTIC OLD VET. A man in the Veteran Reserves was called up recently. After a week at his new quarters he was brought up before the officer commanding for not cleaning his rifle one day. Said the officer commanding:— “Hem, you’re an old soldier re-enlisted, I see. I suppose it will be many years ago since you were reprimanded? What was your last offence? Can you remember what it was?” Old Soldier (with irony on account of the repeated assertions to his age): “For not cleanin’ me bow an’ arrow, sir!” BROTHERLY REPARTEE A cricket match was taking place near a German internment camp. Many were the comments on the game.