Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Older women -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction; Villages -- England -- Fiction
The summer of which François Fontenelle had spoken to his friend, as he
sat beneath Anne’s portrait, was the summer which followed her visit to
her brother and his wife.
Anne had returned with her inner life wrecked and shattered. Her
peace of mind was gone. She spent no more quiet days in the library
with her books. A feverish restlessness drove her out of doors, where
while daylight lasted, she worked among her plants, digging, weeding,
planting with such energy that from sheer physical fatigue, she forced
herself to sleep dreamlessly till morning renewed her toil. She was
uninterrupted. No one disturbed her. She had nothing else to do.
In spite of her protestations, Mrs. Burbage who had been growing
steadily feebler through the winter, sent for a hospital nurse, and
finally kept her bed.
“I will be looked after by the right people,” she declared with
characteristic determination. “Trained nurses are the right people to
tend the sick. I can afford to pay for them, and I will have them. You
have had enough waiting upon invalids, my dear.”
Freed from nearly all her customary duties, therefore, Anne had the
long spring days before her, and with the instinct of her healthy
nature, she strove by hard physical work, to fill them, and at the same
time to crush out the mental malady which tore at her heart.
“It’s a disease, but work will kill it,” she told herself.
And she set her teeth, and worked.
She worked; but she was burdened with a great fear and a great regret.
Immersed in books, as for the last five years she had become, she had
not hitherto noticed the isolation, the narrowness of her life.
Not only had she failed to miss the intercourse of her fellow
creatures, she had actually dreaded their approach.
Filled with a nervous mistrust of her own power to please, she had
shunned humanity as represented by any living soul outside the gates of
Fairholme Court.
“I know nothing about any one,” was the dreary burden of her thoughts.
“I don’t understand anything about real men and women. My own life is
empty, and so for me, the lives of others are empty too. I have nothing
to say to them, no help to give them, I’m useless in a world of which I
know nothing except at second hand. And as I grow older my heart will
dry up and wither more and more, till I’m an old maid--the conventional
old maid.”
She planted her sad thoughts with the beds of lilies; she dug them into
the ground round the rose-bushes; and serenely, mockingly, the garden
flourished and broke gradually into a flood of bloom.
It had never looked so beautiful as on the day when Mrs. Burbage’s
maid came to her while she was watering the new rose hedge round the
sundial, to say that visitors had called, and her mistress wished Miss
Page to receive them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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