Black humor; City and town life -- Fiction; Intellectuals -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Satire
“Twenty-five? Good Lord, it’s nearly fifteen years since I was
twenty-five. Fifteen years, fighting all the time. God, how I hate
people sometimes! Everybody. It’s not their malignity I mind; I can give
them back as good as they give me. It’s their power of silence and
indifference, it’s their capacity for making themselves deaf. Here am I
with something to say to them, something important and essential. And
I’ve been saying it for more than fifteen years, I’ve been shouting it.
They pay no attention. I bring them my head and heart on a charger, and
they don’t even notice that the things are there. I sometimes wonder how
much longer I can manage to go on.” His voice had become very low, and
it trembled. “One’s nearly forty, you know....” The voice faded huskily
away into silence. Languidly and as though the business exhausted him,
he began mixing colours on his palette.
Mrs. Viveash looked at him. No, he wasn’t young; at the moment, indeed,
he seemed to have become much older than he really was. An old man was
standing there, peaked and sharp and worn. He had failed, he was
unhappy. But the world would have been unjuster, less discriminating if
it had given him success.
“Some people believe in you,” she said; there was nothing else for her
to say.
Lypiatt looked up at her. “You?” he asked.
Mrs. Viveash nodded, deliberately. It was a lie. But was it possible to
tell the truth? “And then there is the future,” she reassured him, and
her faint death-bed voice seemed to prophesy with a perfect certainty.
“You’re not forty yet; you’ve got twenty, thirty years of work in front
of you. And there were others, after all, who had to wait—a long
time—sometimes till after they were dead. Great men; Blake, for
instance....” She felt positively ashamed; it was like a little talk by
Doctor Frank Crane. But she felt still more ashamed, when she saw that
Casimir had begun to cry and that the tears were rolling, one after
another, slowly down his face.
He put down his palette, he stepped on to the dais, he came and knelt at
Mrs. Viveash’s feet. He took one of her hands between his own and he
bent over it, pressing it to his forehead, as though it were a charm
against unhappy thoughts, sometimes kissing it; soon it was wet with
tears. He wept almost in silence.
“It’s all right,” Mrs. Viveash kept repeating, “it’s all right,” and she
laid her free hand on his bowed head, she patted it comfortingly as one
might pat the head of a large dog that comes and thrusts its muzzle
between one’s knees. She felt, even as she made it, how meaningless and
unintimate the gesture was. If she had liked him, she would have run her
fingers through his hair; but somehow his hair rather disgusted her.
“It’s all right, all right.” But, of course, it wasn’t all right; and
she was comforting him under false pretences and he was kneeling at the
feet of somebody who simply wasn’t there—so utterly detached, so far
away she was from all this scene and all his misery.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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