'She knows that her duty is to love whom I love, and to avoid whom I
avoid. Can you imagine that a Christian virgin has any feelings
disobedient to her father's wishes? Come to my house; judge with your
own eyes of my daughter and my companion. You, whose misfortunes have
left you no home, shall find one, if you will, with me. Come then and
labour with me in my great undertaking! You will withdraw your mind
from the contemplation of your woes, and merit by your devotion the
favour of the Most High.'
'No, Numerian, I will still be independent, even of my friends! Nor
Rome nor Italy are abiding-places for me. I go to another land to
abide among another people, until the arms of a conqueror shall have
restored freedom to the brave and protection to the honest throughout
the countries of the Empire.'
'Probus, I implore you stay!'
'Never! My determination is taken, Numerian--farewell!'
For a few minutes Numerian stood motionless, gazing wistfully in the
direction taken by his companion on his departure. At first an
expression of grief and pity softened the austerity which seemed the
habitual characteristic of his countenance when in repose, but soon
these milder and tenderer feelings appeared to vanish from his heart as
suddenly as they had arisen; his features reassumed their customary
sternness, and he muttered to himself as he mixed with the crowd
struggling onwards in the direction of the basilica: 'Let him depart
unregretted; he has denied himself to the service of his Maker. He
should no longer be my friend.'
In this sentence lay the index to the character of the man. His
existence was one vast sacrifice, one scene of intrepid
self-immolation. Although, in the brief hints at the events of his life
which he had communicated to his friend, he had exaggerated the extent
of his errors, he had by no means done justice to the fervour of his
penitence--a penitence which outstripped the usual boundaries of
repentance, and only began in despair to terminate in fanaticism. His
desertion of his father's house (into the motives of which it is not
our present intention to enter), and his long subsequent existence of
violence and excess, indisposed his naturally strong passions to submit
to the slightest restraint. In obedience to their first impulses, he
contracted, at a mature age, a marriage with a woman thoroughly
unworthy of the ardent admiration that she had inspired. When he found
himself deceived and dishonoured by her, the shock of such an
affliction thrilled through his whole being--crushed all his
energies--struck him prostrate, heart and mind, at one blow. The
errors of his youth, committed in his prosperity with moral impunity,
reacted upon him in his adversity with an influence fatal to his future
peace. His repentance was darkened by despondency; his resolutions
were unbrightened by hope. He flew to religion as the suicide flies to
the knife--in despair.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account