Apologia DiffidentisDalton, O. M. (Ormonde Maddock)
Philosophy
Apologia Diffidentis
Dalton, O. M. (Ormonde Maddock)
Bashfulness
For the discipline of sympathy, for the quickened sense of comradeship
in work, for the very presence of that unloveliness which compels
sympathy, I dwell more months in the town than in the country-side. But
remembering what Nature did to save me, and owing her an endless debt of
filial duty, I return to her in the summer days, and to make up for the
long months of separation cling nearer to her than most of her truant
sons. For communion with Nature, the ideal joy of country life, is not
attained by the sportsman or the mere player of games, who think of
their bodies chiefly, and use as a means to rude physical vigour the end
ordained for the fine contentience of body, mind, and spirit. Again I
will pass by the obvious and familiar resources of outdoor life, and
speak only of such as men are unaccountably prone to neglect.
There is a way of learning nature which in this wet land is mostly
followed by tramps and vagrants; the way of sleeping beneath the stars.
So far is this joy from the thoughts of most men, that even George
Borrow felt a strange uneasiness when for the first time the darkness
descended upon him in the open country. I think we carry with us all our
lives that fear of night with which nursery tales inspired our
childhood; it reinforces the later more reasoned fear of boisterous
weather, or of the men who walk in darkness because their works are
evil. We shrink from night as a chill privation of daylight, as a gloom
which we must traverse, but not inhabit; the distrust becomes with years
instinctive and universal, and the nearest approach to friendly relation
with night attained by most of us is a timid liking for the twilight
hours. Yet as the sun rises alike upon the just and upon the unjust even
so does he descend, and we put a slight upon Providence if we abandon to
rogues and rakes that wonderful kingdom of the darkness of which by
natural prerogative we are enfranchised. By never using our proper
freedom, we give them prescriptive licence of usurpation, so that the
hours in which the heavens are nearest to us are become the peculiar
inheritance of thieves.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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