"Nobody ever could see," she continued, "how it was that Amos Matthews
and Marthy Crawford ever come to marry, unless it was jest as I said,
to have somebody always handy to quarrel with about their religion;
and I used to think sometimes that Marthy and Amos got more pleasure
that way than most folks git out o' prayin' and singin' and listenin'
to preachin'. Amos was the strictest sort of a Presbyterian, and
Marthy was a Babtist, and to hear them two jawin' and arguin' and
bringin' up Scripture texts about predestination and infant babtism
and close communion and immersion was enough to make a person wish
there wasn't such a thing as churches and doctrines. Brother Rice
asked Sam Amos once if Marthy and Amos Matthews was Christians.
Brother Rice had come to help Parson Page carry on a meetin', and he
was tryin' to find out who was the sinners and who was the
Christians. And Sam says, 'No; my Lord! It takes all o' Marthy's time
to be a Babtist and all o' Amos' to be a Presbyterian. They ain't got
time to be Christians.'
"Some folks wondered how they ever got time to do any courtin', they
was so busy wranglin' over babtism and election. And after Marthy had
her weddin' clothes all made they come to a dead stop. Amos said he
wouldn't feel like they was rightly married if they didn't have a
Presbyterian minister to marry 'em, and Marthy said it wouldn't be
marryin' to her if they didn't have a Babtist. I was over at Hannah
Crawford's one day, and she says, says she, 'Jane, I've been savin' up
my eggs and butter for a month to make Marthy's weddin' cake, and if
her and Amos don't come to an understandin' soon, it'll all be a dead
loss.' And Marthy says, 'Well, mother, I may not have any cake at my
weddin', and I may not have any weddin', but one thing is certain: I'm
not goin' to give up my principles.'
"And Hannah sort o' groaned--she hadn't had any easy time with Miles
Crawford--and says she, 'You pore foolish child! Principles ain't the
only thing a woman has to give up when she gits married.'
"I don't know whether they ever would 'a' come to an agreement if it
hadn't been for Brother Morris. He was the Presidin' Elder from town,
and a powerful hand for jokin' with folks. He happened to meet Amos
one day about this time, and says he, 'Amos, I hear you and Miss
Marthy can't decide betwixt Brother Page and Brother Gyardner. It'd be
a pity,' says he, 'to have a good match sp'iled for such a little
matter, and s'pose you compromise and have me to marry you.'
"And Amos says, 'I don't know but what that's the best thing that
could be done. I'll see Marthy and let you know.' And, bless your
life, they was married a week from that day. I went over and helped
Hannah with the cake, and Brother Morris said as pretty a ceremony
over 'em as any Presbyterian or Babtist could 'a' said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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