I will not dwell upon the scene at the funeral. I saw my father's
coffin placed in the crypt that spread beneath the deserted church.
It was by the earnest wish of my father that he was buried in a
church already deserted because the grip of the resistless sea was
upon it. At this very time a very large slice of the cliff behind the
church was pronounced dangerous, and I perceived that new rails were
lying on the grass ready to be fixed up, further inland than ever.
VII
My mother retired to her room immediately on our return to the house.
My uncle stayed till just before dinner, and then left. I seemed to
be alone in a deserted house, so still were the servants, so quiet
seemed everything. But now what was this sense of undefined dread
that came upon me and would not let me rest? Why did I move from room
to room? and what was goading me? Something was stirring like a blind
creature across my brain, and it was too hideous to confront. Why
_should_ I confront it? Why scare one's soul and lacerate one's heart
at every dark fear that peeps through the door of imagination, when
experience teaches us that out of every hundred such dark fears
ninety-nine are sure to turn out mere magic-lantern bogies?
The evening wore on, and yet I _would_ not face this phantom fear,
though it refused to quit me.
The servants went to bed quite early that night, and when the butler
came to ask me if I should 'want anything more,' I said 'only a
candle,' and went up to my bedroom.
'I will turn into bed,' I said, 'and sleep over it. The idea is a
figment of an over-wrought brain. Destiny would never play any man a
trick like that which I have dared to dream of. Among human
calamities it would be at once the most shocking and the most
whimsical--this imaginary woe that scares me. Destiny is merciless,
but who ever heard of Destiny playing mere cruel practical jokes upon
man? Up to now the Fates have never set up as humorists. Now, for a
man to love, to dote upon, a girl whose father is the violator of his
own father's tomb--a wretch who has called down upon himself the most
terrible curse of a dead man that has ever been uttered--_that_ would
be a fate too fantastically cruel to be permitted by Heaven--by any
governing power whose sanctions were not those of a whimsical
cruelty.'
Yet those words of my mother's about Wynne, and her suspicions of
him, were flitting about the air of the room like fiery-eyed bats.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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