“Standardization is excellent, _per se_. When I buy an Ingersoll watch
or a Ford, I get a better tool for less money, and I know precisely what
I’m getting, and that leaves me more time and energy to be individual
in. And-- I remember once in London I saw a picture of an American
suburb, in a toothpaste ad on the back of the _Saturday Evening
Post_--an elm-lined snowy street of these new houses, Georgian some of
’em, or with low raking roofs and-- The kind of street you’d find here in
Zenith, say in Floral Heights. Open. Trees. Grass. And I was homesick!
There’s no other country in the world that has such pleasant houses. And
I don’t care if they _are_ standardized. It’s a corking standard!
“No, what I fight in Zenith is standardization of thought, and, of
course, the traditions of competition. The real villains of the piece
are the clean, kind, industrious Family Men who use every known brand of
trickery and cruelty to insure the prosperity of their cubs. The worst
thing about these fellows is that they’re so good and, in their work at
least, so intelligent. You can’t hate them properly, and yet their
standardized minds are the enemy.
“Then this boosting-- Sneakingly I have a notion that Zenith is a better
place to live in than Manchester or Glasgow or Lyons or Berlin or
Turin--”
“It is not, and I have lift in most of them,” murmured Dr. Yavitch.
“Well, matter of taste. Personally, I prefer a city with a future so
unknown that it excites my imagination. But what I particularly want--”
“You,” said Dr. Yavitch, “are a middle-road liberal, and you haven’t the
slightest idea what you want. I, being a revolutionist, know exactly
what I want--and what I want now is a drink.”
VI
At that moment in Zenith, Jake Offutt, the politician, and Henry T.
Thompson were in conference. Offutt suggested, “The thing to do is to
get your fool son-in-law, Babbitt, to put it over. He’s one of these
patriotic guys. When he grabs a piece of property for the gang, he makes
it look like we were dyin’ of love for the dear peepul, and I do love to
buy respectability--reasonable. Wonder how long we can keep it up, Hank?
We’re safe as long as the good little boys like George Babbitt and all
the nice respectable labor-leaders think you and me are rugged patriots.
There’s swell pickings for an honest politician here, Hank: a whole city
working to provide cigars and fried chicken and dry martinis for us, and
rallying to our banner with indignation, oh, fierce indignation,
whenever some squealer like this fellow Seneca Doane comes along!
Honest, Hank, a smart codger like me ought to be ashamed of himself if
he didn’t milk cattle like them, when they come around mooing for it!
But the Traction gang can’t get away with grand larceny like it used to.
I wonder when-- Hank, I wish we could fix some way to run this fellow
Seneca Doane out of town. It’s him or us!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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