New Orleans (La.) -- Fiction; Women -- Louisiana -- Fiction
"Eh! but who wants to look back on it, my friend? Who in the world
wants to look back on it?" One could not doubt madame's energy of
opinion on that question to hear her voice. "We have done our future,
we have performed it, if you will. Our future! It is like the dinners
we have eaten; of course we cannot remember the good without becoming
exasperated over the bad: but"--shrugging her shoulders--"since we
cannot beat the cooks, we must submit to fate," forcing a queen that
she needed at the critical point of her game.
"At sixteen and twenty-one it is hard to realize that one is arranging
one's life to last until sixty, seventy, forever," correcting himself
as he thought of his friend, the dead husband. If madame had ever
possessed the art of self-control, it was many a long day since she
had exercised it; now she frankly began to show ennui.
"When I look back to that time,"--Mr. Horace leaned back in his chair
and half closed his eyes, perhaps to avoid the expression of her
face,--"I see nothing but lights and flowers, I hear nothing but music
and laughter; and all--lights and flowers and music and laughter--seem
to meet in this room, where we met so often to arrange
our--inevitabilities." The word appeared to attract him.
"Josephine,"--with a sudden change of voice and manner,--"Josephine,
how beautiful you were!"
The old lady nodded her head without looking from her cards.
"They used to say," with sad conviction of the truth of his
testimony--"the men used to say that your beauty was irresistible.
None ever withstood you. None ever could."
That, after all, was Mr. Horace's great charm with madame; he was so
faithful to the illusions of his youth. As he looked now at her, one
could almost feel the irresistibility of which he spoke.
"It was only their excuse, perhaps; we could not tell at the time; we
cannot tell even now when we think about it. They said then, talking
as men talk over such things, that you were the only one who could
remain yourself under the circumstances; you were the only one who
could know, who could will, under the circumstances. It was their
theory; men can have only theories about such things." His voice
dropped, and he seemed to drop too, into some abysm of thought.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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