Austria -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Women -- Fiction
She went out into the brightness of the summer day. It occurred to her
that she was meeting more people than usual, that most of the shops were
shut--of course, it was Sunday! She had not thought of that at all. And
now that, too, made her glad. Soon she met a very slender gentleman who
was wearing his overcoat open and by whose side was walking a young girl
with very dark, laughing eyes. Bertha could not help thinking that she
and Emil looked just such another couple ... and she pictured to herself
how beautiful it must be to stroll about, not merely in the darkness of
the night, but, just as these two were doing, openly in the broad light
of day, arm in arm, and with happiness and laughter shining in their
eyes. Many a time, when a gentleman going past her looked into her face,
she felt as though she understood the language of glances, like
something new to her. One man looked at her with a sort of grave
expression, and he seemed to say: Well, you are also just like the
others! Presently came two young people who left off talking to each
other when they saw her. She felt as though they knew perfectly well what
had happened the previous night. Then another man passed, who appeared to
be in a great hurry, and he cast her a rapid sidelong glance which seemed
to say: Why are you walking about here as imposingly, as if you were a
good woman? Yesterday evening you were in the arms of one of us. Quite
distinctly she heard within her that expression "one of us," and, for the
first time in her life, she could not help pondering over the fact that
all the men who passed by were indeed men, and that all the women were
indeed women; that they desired one another, and, if they so wished,
found one another. And she had the feeling as though only on the previous
day at that time she had been a woman apart, from whom all other women
had secrets, whilst now she also was included amongst them and could talk
to them. She tried to remember the period which followed her wedding, and
she recalled to mind that she had felt nothing beyond a slight
disappointment and shame. Very vague there rose in her mind a certain
sentence--she could not tell whether she had once read it or heard
it--namely: "It is always the same, indeed, after all." And she seemed to
herself much cleverer than the person, whoever it might have been, man
or woman, who had spoken or written that sentence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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