Mountain life -- Fiction; North Carolina -- Fiction
Perhaps, in her dreams, she had followed him up here; perhaps, in her
dreams, she was now looking to see what he was about. The continued
silence began to rouse his imagination. It did so even in the face of
the startling reality he was still confronting. With Roxie’s heart
beating against his arm, it was not of her he thought, but of this
other.
If Allston had been timid in his mental approach to Wilmer before, he
was bold enough now. With a possible margin of only five hours of life
ahead, a man must needs be bold if ever. True values assert themselves
willy-nilly in such a crisis.
He had realized from the moment of Bud’s escape that never had the
desire to live been so keen in him, and in the next few hours he
learned why. In France he had faced death even more intimately than he
was doing to-night and had done it with a certain indifference. Not
that he was either dulled or depressed; not that he was insensitive to
what life meant or that he sought escape from its responsibilities. He
was then in an utterly negative state with the issue completely out
of his hands. And he had seen so much of death that it had lost its
horror. About the only distinction he made between live men and dead
men was that the former were still able to move. The latter lay quietly
where they crumpled up--sometimes for days. He had passed groups of
such immobile forms as unemotionally as he passed broken tree branches.
On his mission up here to-night, he had not considered death either one
way or the other, although he had sensed his danger. Roxie herself was
the one who finally brought him face to face with a full realization of
the issue. It was she who had finally forced the fatal situation. And
she had done this, unwittingly and unconsciously, in the name of love.
Humbly and out of a full heart he drew his arm tighter, and she opened
her eyes and looked up into his face and smiled.
Lord, what was this thing called love? It was symbolized as a winged
cherub and expressed in terms of June roses, and yet it drove men
relentlessly to the very brink, and over, of death. And women, too;
young women scarcely out of girlhood.
And it drove men on to life when death would be simpler. Allston did
not want to die. He wanted to get back to Wilmer. Give him one more
hour alone with her and he would beat down her reserve--would sweep her
into his arms and hold her there. He had been playing with love. He
had not realized the bigness of his passion. It had seemed to him some
dainty, fragile emotion to be handled as cautiously as a delicate vase.
And love was one of the two vital things of a man’s being. There were
only two; love and death. Everything else was trivial. And love was
neither of the intellect nor of the heart. It was of the soul.
That day in the cove when he had seized Wilmer’s hand, his soul had
spoken. It had bid him take, then and there. She had drawn back from
him--yes. But that was because he was half-hearted. He had not pressed
on.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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