Biltmore Oswald : $b The diary of a hapless recruitSmith, Thorne
General
Biltmore Oswald : $b The diary of a hapless recruit
Smith, Thorne
Humorous stories; United States. Navy -- Fiction
The abruptness of this question left the officer momentarily stunned,
but I will say for him that he rallied quickly and returned a
remarkably diplomatic reply to the effect that the pretty little
eagle, although pleasing to gaze upon, was not primarily intended to
be so much of a decoration as means of identification, and that
certain small qualifications were required, as a rule, before one was
permitted to wear one of the emblems in question; qualifications, he
hastened to add, which he had not the slightest doubt that I failed to
possess if I was the true son of my mother, but which, owing to fate
and circumstances, I had probably been unable to exercise. Whereupon
he bid her a very courteous good-day, returned my salute, and passed
on, but not before the very old lady accompanying my mother saluted
also, raising her hand to her funny bit of a bonnet with unnecessary
snappiness and snickering in a senile manner. This last episode upset
me completely, but the old lady was irrepressible. From that time on
she punctuated her progress through the camp with exaggerated salutes
to all the officers she encountered on the way. This, of course, was
quite a startling and undignified performance for one of her years,
very embarrassing to me, as well as mystifying to the officers, who
hardly knew whether to hurl me into the brig as vicarious atonement or
to rebuke the flighty old creature, on the grounds of undue levity.
Most of them passed by, however, with averted eyes and a
discountenanced expression, feeling, I am sure, that I had put her up
to it. Mother thought it quite amusing, and enjoyed my discomfiture
hugely. Then for no particular reason she began to garnish her
conversation with inappropriate seagoing expressions, such as "Pipe
down," "Hit the deck," "Avast," and "Hello, Buddy!" Where she ever
picked up all this nonsense I am at a loss to discover, but she
continued to pull it to the bitter end.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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