I saw it smoothly up the mountain glide. "O happy, happy passengers!" I cried. For Pleasure, singing, drowned the engine's roar, And Hope on joyous pinions flew before. Then dived the train adown the sunset slope-- Pleasure was silent and unseen was Hope. Crashes and shrieks attested the decay That greed had wrought upon that iron way. The rusted rails broke down the rotting ties, And clouds of flying spikes obscured the skies. My coward eyes I drew away, distressed, And fixed them on the terminus to-West, Where soon, its melancholy tale to tell, One bloody car-wheel wabbled in and fell! ONE OF THE SAINTS Big Smith is an Oakland School Board man, And he looks as good as ever he can; And he's such a cold and a chaste Big Smith That snowflakes all are his kin and kith. Wherever his eye he chances to throw The crystals of ice begin to grow; And the fruits and flowers he sees are lost By the singeing touch of a sudden frost. The women all shiver whenever he's near, And look upon _us_ with a look austere-- Effect of the Smithian atmosphere. Such, in a word, is the moral plan Of the Big, Big Smith, the School Board man. When told that Madame Ferrier had taught _Hernani_ in school, his fist he brought Like a trip-hammer down on his bulbous knee, And he roared: "Her Nanny? By gum, we'll see If the public's time she dares devote To the educatin' of any dam goat!" "You do not entirely comprehend-- _Hernani's_ a play," said his learned friend, "By Victor Hugo--immoral and bad. What's worse, it's French!" "Well, well, my lad," Said Smith, "if he cuts a swath so wide I'll have him took re'glar up and tried!" And he smiled so sweetly the other chap Thought that himself was a Finn or Lapp Caught in a storm of his native snows, With a purple ear and an azure nose. The Smith continued: "I never pursue Immoral readin'." And that is true: He's a saint of remarkably high degree, With a mind as chaste as a mind can be; But read!--the devil a word can he! A MILITARY INCIDENT Dawn heralded the coming sun-- Fort Douglas was computing The minutes--and the sunrise gun Was manned for his saluting. The gunner at that firearm stood, The which he slowly loaded, When, bang!--I know not how it could, But sure the charge exploded! Yes, to that veteran's surprise The gun went off sublimely, And both his busy arms likewise Went off with it, untimely. Then said that gunner to his mate (He was from Ballyshannon): "Bedad, the sun's a minute late, Accardin' to this cannon!" SUBSTANCE VERSUS SHADOW