American fiction -- 20th century; Bohemianism -- Fiction
He continued to offer the benevolent adulterations of his advice, and
as Carl listened he suddenly thought of a high-school teacher who had
once rebuked him for bringing to class a theme entitled “Women Who Walk
the Streets,” and with a vaporously swinging amusement in his heart he
almost felt human again. This fantasy could hold a blustering smirk
now and then--its only extenuation. But the nearness vanished as his
uncle’s voice became a swindling monotone, angering him with its formal
pretense of life. Carefully, and with a ghostlike insincerity that
bribed his voice with lightness, he gave words that could hold this man
at arm’s length. The strain of adapting his words to the intelligence
of the man beside him brought him a closer relation to the bickering
phantasmagoria of men and their motives without in any way summoning
his own thoughts and emotions. Dr. Edleman felt that his nephew was
skillfully attempting to defend a selfish past and bringing into the
service of this motive a graceful keenness of mind, but beyond this
point Carl’s words were unable to affect him.
“I have always admired your brilliancy,” he said, “and I only wish that
you would use it in the right way. A young man must pay some attention
to the desires and opinions of older people. It will be a glad day for
me when I see that you are using your talents to bring happiness to
other people. A glad day.”
Carl gave a sigh to the grave dullness that marched forth in his
uncle’s voice and meditated upon the curious differences in sound
with which people petted their limitations and discretions. These
differences were known as words, and when they pleased a great number
of people they were hailed as symbols of genius or power, but Carl
could see no distinction between any of them. Like a horde of tired
servants, they pranced to the prides and hatreds of men and then
returned to their common grave, and only their exact arrangement gave
them a flitting assumption of life. “What is the difference between
this old man and myself? Several keys to false doors of thought and
emotion, misplaced or lost in his youth and found in mine.” Through
reiterating these plausibilities he tried to give bulk and texture to
the fantasy of existence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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