If Holloway had been under the direction of the manager of a Drury Lane
melodrama it could not have been run on lines better calculated to
excite the common mind, and arouse the curiosity and the mirth of the
vulgar. It had all been very cheap and dramatic. The great gates,
barred and bolted in primeval fashion; the uniformed warders and
wardresses, obviously chosen for their stature and their lack of
humanity. The clanging of bells and the rattling of great bunches of
keys. The herding together of guilty and innocent in pen-like places.
The coming and going of numerous officials.
The real thing was very different. It had not got the glamour of
Holloway, or its melodramatic atmosphere with a dash of pantomime.
There was an atmosphere of "Abandon hope all ye who enter here," about
Wormwood Scrubbs, though the interior of the prison was not so
depressing as the exterior—the Scrubbs itself.
In about a week’s time Rupert began to realise, not only where he was,
but what he was. The warders, neither good, bad, nor indifferent,
merely machines wrapped up in red tape, did their best to help him in
this.
The first thing he realised was that he was no longer a man, but a
cypher, number three hundred and eighty-one. He was glad he had not a
name any longer. The only drawback was that, though unknown in the
prisons, he would remain Rupert Dale to the world outside.
The next thing that dawned upon him was, that he was a criminal. A jury
of his fellow-countrymen had found him guilty. There was nothing to
grumble at in that!
The difficulty lay in behaving like a guilty man. He had a curious
feeling when eventually he was exercised with a batch of other convicts
and attended Divine Service, that they resented him. In spite of having
his head shaved, in spite of wearing a costume—a cross between a clown’s
and one beloved by music-hall comedians—he knew he did not look guilty.
He was hall-marked with the broad arrow, but it took more than four
weeks for the iron of prison life to enter his soul and make him really
feel like a criminal; at times wish to be a criminal—until a curious
feeling eventually came to him that he really was one—that he only
wanted to be free again to prove the fact and show himself in his real
colours.
But for the first week or two he found himself without emotions, without
feelings. Things had turned out as he wished them to. He was
satisfied.
The woman he loved was free! Even though she had accused herself no one
believed her. What his father thought or felt he did not know. He did
not want to think—yet. Perhaps nature was kind, and caused the reaction
of the excitement and strain of the trial to act as an anæsthetic to his
brain.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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