Europe -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; New Zealand -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, New Zealand
And so on and so on until some dirty old gallant comes up to my table
and sits opposite and begins to grimace and yap. Until I hear myself
saying: “But I’ve got the little girl for you, _mon vieux._ So little .
. . so tiny.” I kiss the tips of my fingers and lay them upon my heart.
“I give you my word of honour as a gentleman, a writer, serious, young,
and extremely interested in modern English literature.”
I must go. I must go. I reach down my coat and hat. Madame knows me.
“You haven’t dined yet?” she smiles.
“No, not yet, Madame.”
Bliss
Although Bertha Young was thirty she still had moments like this when
she wanted to run instead of walk, to take dancing steps on and off the
pavement, to bowl a hoop, to throw something up in the air and catch it
again, or to stand still and laugh at—nothing—at nothing, simply.
What can you do if you are thirty and, turning the corner of your own
street, you are overcome, suddenly, by a feeling of bliss—absolute
bliss!—as though you’d suddenly swallowed a bright piece of that late
afternoon sun and it burned in your bosom, sending out a little shower
of sparks into every particle, into every finger and toe? . . .
Oh, is there no way you can express it without being “drunk and
disorderly”? How idiotic civilization is! Why be given a body if you
have to keep it shut up in a case like a rare, rare fiddle?
“No, that about the fiddle is not quite what I mean,” she thought,
running up the steps and feeling in her bag for the key—she’d forgotten
it, as usual—and rattling the letter-box. “It’s not what I mean,
because—— Thank you, Mary”—she went into the hall. “Is nurse back?”
“Yes, M’m.”
“And has the fruit come?”
“Yes, M’m. Everything’s come.”
“Bring the fruit up to the dining-room, will you? I’ll arrange it
before I go upstairs.”
It was dusky in the dining-room and quite chilly. But all the same
Bertha threw off her coat; she could not bear the tight clasp of it
another moment, and the cold air fell on her arms.
But in her bosom there was still that bright glowing place—that shower
of little sparks coming from it. It was almost unbearable. She hardly
dared to breathe for fear of fanning it higher, and yet she breathed
deeply, deeply. She hardly dared to look into the cold mirror—but she
did look, and it gave her back a woman, radiant, with smiling,
trembling lips, with big, dark eyes and an air of listening, waiting
for something . . . divine to happen . . . that she knew must happen .
. . infallibly.
Mary brought in the fruit on a tray and with it a glass bowl, and a
blue dish, very lovely, with a strange sheen on it as though it had
been dipped in milk.
“Shall I turn on the light, M’m?”
“No, thank you. I can see quite well.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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