What did he say? That he loved her--her whom he had seen so few times!
He loved her: he, the heir to a baronetcy, loved her--a poor governess,
the persecuted, despised dependent of this family--that his love for her
was as pure as that white blossom! It could not be. And yet he had
spoken so earnestly; his voice trembled, and those low soft utterances
so tenderly, so feelingly whispered, so full of appeal and reverence,
were evidently genuine. They were not the words of the thoughtless, the
lovers of conquest, the distributors of vain compliments, empty
nothings, to every woman who was the toy of the hour. And he was no
weak boy, ready to be led away by a fresh face--no empty-headed coxcomb,
but a man of sterling worth.
There was a plain, straightforward, manly simplicity in what he had said
that went home to her heart; there was a nobility in his disappointment
and anger which made her thrill with the awakening of new thoughts, new
senses, that had before lain dormant in her breast; there was the
sterling ring of the true gentleman in his every act and look and word,
and--Ah, but--no--no--no! She was mad to harbour such thoughts, even
for an instant; it was folly--all folly. How could she accept him, even
if her heart leaned that way? It would be doing him a grievous wrong,
blighting his prospects, tying him down to one unworthy of his regard.
She could not--she did not love him. Love! What was it to love? She
had loved those who were no more; but love him, a stranger! What was it
to love?
Beat, beat!--beat, beat!--beat, beat! Heavy throbbings of her poor
wounded heart answering the question she had asked, plainly, and in a
way that would not be ignored, even though she pressed that
flower-burdened hand tightly over the place, and laid the other upon her
hot and tingling cheeks. But even if she knew it, could she own to it?
No! impossible; not even to herself. That was a secret she could not
ponder on, even for an instant.
And yet he had said that he loved her! What were his words? She must
recall them once more: that his love for her was as truthful and as pure
as that flower--that poor crushed rose.
As she thought on, flushed and trembling, she raised the flower nearer
and nearer to her face, gazing at the bruised petals, crushed, torn, and
disfigured. It was to her as the reading of a prophecy--that his pure
love for her was to become torn and sullied, and that, for her sake, he
was to suffer bitter anguish, till, like that flower, his love should
wither away. But there would still be the recollection of the sweet
words, even as there stayed in the crushed blossom its own sweet
perfume, the incense-breathing fragrance, as she raised it more and more
till the hot tears began to fell.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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