I was a very unprepossessing child, neither good looking nor pleasant
tempered; not that I was really ill-tempered, but that ill usage had
stupified me. I never entered into play with the children of my own age,
nor did I seek the amusements that were even within my reach. I loved to
be alone, to lie under a tree near a brook, listening to the babbling
and murmuring of the waters, and fancying that I heard my mother talking
to me. Little as I was, I used to frame long conversations with her, and
they had the effect of soothing me. Her gentle spirit was for ever
present, and constantly encouraging me to bear all, and suffer in
silence, and that when I was a man I should be rewarded. I bless the
good Irishman’s memory for having so early and so constantly spoken of
my parents; particularly of my mother.
A man finds he cannot make his way in the world without honesty and
industry, so that, although his father’s example may do much, he has to
depend upon his own exertions; he _must_ work, he _must_ be honest, or
he cannot attain to any enviable rank. But the tender soothings of a
mother, her sympathy, her devotedness, her forgiving temper—all this
sinks deep in a child’s heart; and let him wander ever so wide, let him
err or let him lead a life of virtue, the remembrance of all this comes
like a holy calm over his heart, and he weeps that he has offended her,
or he rejoices that he has listened to her disinterested, gentle
admonition.
When I reached the age of eight years I was taught to read, and the
eagerness with which I proceeded, mastering every difficulty, and
overcoming every impediment from cold, hunger and chilblain, might have
shown to an observer how suitable this occupation was to my character.
Poor Patrick used to boast of my acquirements to every one who would
listen; and every fresh book that I read through, gave him visions of my
future glory.
No one can tell how the poor fellow pinched himself to give me this
scanty education, but hard necessity had taught me to think; I was
compelled to make use of my judgment, young as I was; and, knowing that
he had the sum of five hundred dollars in his possession, for my use, I
tried to prevail on him to draw out a fifth part of it for the purpose
of paying a better board, and getting me a better teacher. If any one
could have seen this poor man as I saw him at that time, thin, bowed
down by poverty and neglect, ragged and with scarcely a home, they would
have wondered that his honesty could have held out as it did when he had
what might be considered as so large a sum within his power. He not only
did not touch a penny himself, but he would not take a cent of it from
the principal. He distrusted his own judgment, and he distrusted mine,
for I was such a mere child; yet his anxiety to give me an education was
still uppermost, and he wavered for a long time about adopting the only
means of accomplishing it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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