England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
absent Mr. Meredith, she might have found drawbacks in it; but,
according to appearances, this was scarcely the case, and perhaps never
had been.
This lady was the first visitor Cara had in the Square. She came in next
morning, about twelve o’clock, when the girl was languidly wondering
what was to become of her. Cara had not spent a cheerful morning. Her
father had come to breakfast, and had talked to her a little about
ordinary matters, and things that were in the newspaper. He was as much
puzzled as a man could be what to do with this seventeen-year-old girl
whom he had sent for, as a matter of course, when he himself came home
to settle, but whom now he found likely to be an interruption to all his
habits. He did not know Cara, and was somehow uneasy in her presence,
feeling in her a suspicion and distrust of himself which he could by no
means account for. And Cara did not know him, except that she did
distrust and suspect him, yet expected something from him, she could not
tell what; something better than the talk about collisions and
shipwrecks in the papers. She tried to respond, and the breakfast was
not a sullen or silent meal. But what a contrast it was from the bright
table at the Hill, with the windows open to the lawn, and all the
spontaneous happy talk, which was not made up for any one, but flowed
naturally, like the air they breathed! Mr. Beresford was much more
accomplished than Aunt Cherry; a clever man, instead of the mild old
maiden whom everybody smiled at, but---- All this went through Cara’s
mind as she poured out his coffee, and listened to his account of the
new steamboat. There was a perfect ferment of thought going on in her
brain while she sat opposite to him, saying yes and no, and now and then
asking a question, by way of showing a little interest. She was asking
herself how things would have been if her mother had lived; how they
would have talked then: whether they would have admitted her to any
share in the talk, or kept her outside, as they had done when she was a
child? All these questions were jostling each other in her mind, and
misty scenes rising before her, one confusing and mixing up with the
other; the same breakfast table, as she remembered it of old, when the
father and mother in their talk would sometimes not hear her questions,
and sometimes say, ‘Don’t tease, child,’ and sometimes bid her run away
to the nursery; and as it might have been with her mother still sitting
by, and herself a silent third person. Mr. Beresford had not a notion
what the thoughts were which were going on under Cara’s pretty hair, so
smoothly wound about her head, and shining in the autumn sunshine, and
under the pretty dark blue morning dress which ‘threw up,’ as Cherry
meant it to do, the girl’s whiteness and brightness. She could make
_him_ out to some degree, only putting more meaning in him than he was
himself at all aware of; but he could not make out her. Did thought
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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