Cecilia; Or, Memoirs of an Heiress — Volume 3Burney, Fanny
General
Cecilia; Or, Memoirs of an Heiress — Volume 3
Burney, Fanny
England -- Fiction; Inheritance and succession -- Fiction; Love stories; Young women -- Fiction
“I will,” he answered, “whatever I may suffer: to awaken thee from this
dream of fancied sorrow, I will open all my wounds, and thou shalt probe
them with fresh shame.”
“No, indeed,” cried Cecilia with quickness, “I will not hear you, if the
relation will be so painful.”
“Upon _me_ this humanity is lost,” said he, “since punishment and
penitence alone give me comfort. I will tell thee, therefore, my crimes,
that thou mayst know thy own felicity, lest, ignorant it means nothing
but innocence, thou shouldst lose it, unconscious of its value. Listen
then to me, and learn what Misery is! Guilt is alone the basis of
lasting unhappiness;--Guilt is the basis of mine, and therefore I am a
wretch for ever!”
Cecilia would again have declined hearing him, but he refused to be
spared: and as her curiosity had long been excited to know something of
his history, and the motives of his extraordinary conduct, she was glad
to have it satisfied, and gave him the utmost attention.
“I will not speak to you of my family,” said he; “historical accuracy
would little answer to either of us. I am a native of the West Indies,
and I was early sent hither to be educated. While I was yet at the
University, I saw, I adored, and I pursued the fairest flower that ever
put forth its sweet buds, the softest heart that ever was broken by
ill-usage! She was poor and unprotected, the daughter of a villager;
she was untaught and unpretending, the child of simplicity! But fifteen
summers had she bloomed, and her heart was an easy conquest; yet, once
made mine, it resisted all allurement to infidelity. My fellow students
attacked her; she was assaulted by all the arts of seduction; flattery,
bribery, supplication, all were employed, yet all failed; she was wholly
my own; and with sincerity so attractive, I determined to marry her in
defiance of all worldly objections.
“The sudden death of my father called me hastily to Jamaica; I feared
leaving this treasure unguarded, yet in decency could neither marry nor
take her directly; I pledged my faith, therefore, to return to her,
as soon as I had settled my affairs, and I left to a bosom friend the
inspection of her conduct in my absence.
“To leave her was madness,--to trust in man was madness,--Oh hateful
race! how has the world been abhorrent to me since that time! I have
loathed the light of the sun, I have shrunk from the commerce of my
fellow creatures; the voice of man I have detested, his sight I have
abominated!--but oh, more than all should I be abominated myself!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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