CHANTECLER To sing! SECOND CHICKEN And your song--? CHANTECLER Is my life! THIRD CHICKEN But how do you sing? CHANTECLER I take pains. FIRST CHICKEN But do you scan [_Beating furiously with his wing._] one-one-two One-three? Three-one? Or four? What is your dynamic theory? THE BLACKBIRD [_Shouting._] Who has not his little pet dynamic theory? CHANTECLER Dyna--? SECOND CHICKEN Where do you place the accent? On the Cock--? THIRD CHICKEN On the Doo? CHANTECLER On the-- FIRST CHICKEN [_Impatiently._] What is your school? CHANTECLER Schools of Cocks? SECOND CHICKEN [_Rapidly._] Certainly. Some sing Cock-a-doodle-doo, and some Keek-a-deedle-dee! CHANTECLER Cock--? Keek--? THIRD CHICKEN Not to speak of those who-- A COCK [_Coming forward._] The correct and proper way to crow is Cowkerdowdledow! CHANTECLER What Cock is that? FIRST CHICKEN An Anglo-Indian. SECOND CHICKEN And the Turk over there, whose comb suggests a cyst, crows Coocooroocoocoo! THIRD CHICKEN [_Shouting in his ear._] Do you not upon occasions vary your Cockadoodledoo with Cackadaddledaa? ANOTHER COCK [_Springing up at the right._] I, for one, entirely suppress the vowels: C-ck-d-dl-d! CHANTECLER [_Trying to get away._] Is it a Welsh Rabbit dream? ANOTHER COCK [_Springing up at the left._] O-a-oo-e-oo! Have you ever tried suppressing the consonants? ANOTHER COCK [_Pushing aside all the others._] I mix the whole thing up--Cuck-o-deedle-daa!--in a free and supple song! CHANTECLER My brain reels! ALL THE COCKS [_Gathered about him, fighting._] No! Cuckodee--No, Cackadaa--No, Coocooroo-- THE COCK [_Who mixes all up._] The free Cockadoodle! The free crow is obligatory! CHANTECLER Pray, who is that, speaking with such authority? FIRST CHICKEN It is a wonderful Cock who has never sung at all. CHANTECLER [_In humble despair._] And I am only a Cock who sings! EVERYBODY [_Drawing away from him in disgust._] I wouldn’t mention it if I were you! CHANTECLER I give my song as the rose-tree gives its Rose! THE PEACOCK [_Sarcastically._] Ah, I was waiting for the Rose! [_Pitying laughter._] CHANTECLER [_Low, nervously, to the_ BLACKBIRD.] Is my prospective slayer going to keep me waiting much longer? EVERYONE [_Disgusted._] The Rose? Oh! THE GUINEA-HEN If you must mention flowers, let them be rather less-- THE PEACOCK Elementary. [_With the most disdainful impertinence._] So you are still at the declension of _Rosa?_ CHANTECLER I am, you--Peacock! You, I suppose, may be forgiven for speaking slightingly of the Rose, being a rival candidate for the beauty prize. [_Looking around him._] But I summon these Cocks, from Dorking to Bantam, to defend with me-- A COCK [_Nonchalantly._] Pray whom? CHANTECLER The Rose, _Rosam;_ to declare on the spot and forthwith-- THE BLACKBIRD [_Ironically._] You set yourself up as the champion-- CHANTECLER _Rosarum,_ of roses, I do!--To declare that worship is due-- A COCK To whom, pray?