Of this same class are men who conduct "diploma mills" and make doctors, especially in one day. They sell their parchments as freely as a saloonkeeper does his beer, and then claim that because a college confers distinctive degrees upon men of prominence, without a course of study and examination, they are justified in launching doctors by the score upon unsuspecting communities, "without study and examination," to discredit the medical profession, and send men, women and children to premature graves. Like McTeague, who acquired his knowledge of dentistry from the seven volumes of "Allen's Practical Dentist," they obtain their knowledge of diseases from quack publications, newspapers and magazine articles. They use nothing but "the purest of the earth's productions in their treatment, and no minerals or poisonous materials of any kind are ever permitted to enter your system." Their prices range from "one dollar up." "A positive guarantee is given in every case treated, so you have nothing to risk in any way. Your money back on demand if not satisfied." They can wash kidneys so clean, that if you are a woman and have not extended your arms in years, after taking the first box of kidney pills you "can raise them, and twist your hair," and after the second, "dress yourself, perform your household duties," and "life will again take on a bright hue" for you. Bald heads respond to the "remarkable effects" of their discoveries, with joyful alacrity. Gray hair goes into hiding, and "thick and lustrous eyebrows and eye lashes" blossom forth on one application, as lilac bushes do in the spring time at the first touch of the warmth of the sun's rays. Their remedies are "no longer experiments, they are medical certainties." They "create solid flesh, muscles and strength, clear the brain, and make the blood pure and rich." For humanity's sake, distinguished Mayors, ex-Mayors, city treasurers, scholars, soldiers, ex-state senators and senators, representatives, lawyers and judges, lend their beaming countenances, when fully restored to health, for the uses of these quacks, until the daily press has become a portrait gallery of rebuilt and revitalized men, who, if disease had the clutch upon them they so felicitously describe--in the stereotyped words of the quack--ought to have been dead, buried and mourned long ago. These distinguished men in American life, are merely selling their faces for promotion purposes, much as the titled Englishman sells his title.