"Never mind, walk there with me." Mr Retort consented, and we strolled on together to where a gaily-patterned hearthrug hung out of a window, bearing one of the auctioneer's bills. Men were hanging about with porters' knots, and mostly wearing head coverings composed of Brussels carpet; Abram was there, Isaac was there, Jacob was there, and the whole of the twelve patriarchs, all looking hook-nosed, unctuous, unsoaped, and evidently revelling in the idea of what a glorious "knock out" there would be after the sale. The dining-room was set apart for selling purposes; the long table stood, with all the leaves in, while its telescopic principle was so put to it that in places it was quite out of focus, and the leaves did not meet. The "elegantly-designed genuine Turkey carpet" was ingeniously folded, so that all the worn parts were hidden, and the brighter and unworn portions prominently spread out upon the long table. The scroll fender stood upon the chimney-piece, the plated-ware upon the sideboard, while ranged along the walls were the bureaus and wardrobes out of the bedrooms; at which innovation, or rather intrusion, the large portraits upon the walls gazed down most ferociously. "Porter, sir?" said a man, touching his carpet-cap to Retort. "No, thank you, my man," said my friend, politely, "I never take beer." "No, sir, I mean to carry home what you buy," said the man. "Oh, dear me, no," said Retort, "I never purchase at sales." The man thrust a ribald tongue into his long lank cheek, while, at the same moment I was earnestly examining the aforesaid Turkey carpet, and wondering whether it would be an improvement upon the one in our own room, when a man, whose name must have been Isaacs or Moss, insinuatingly offered me a catalogue. "Thank you," I said: "I have one." "Shouldn't recommend it, sir," said the new-comer. "The drawing-room carpet would just suit you, for it by rights should have been laid in a dining-room." "Thanks," I said, "but don't let me detain you." No detention in the least. Mr Isaacs was a broker, and for the usual trifling commission he could secure anything in the sale for me at a considerable reduction in the price I should have to give. "For you see," said Mr Isaacs, see-sawing the edge of a leaf of the catalogue between two of his excessively dirty teeth, "if you attempt to bid for yourself the brokers will consider that you are taking the bread out of their mouths, and combine against you, and run things up. Couldn't secure a thing yourself, I assure you, sir." "Isn't this a public auction?" I said, in what was meant to be a dignified way. "Oh, yes, of course," said Mr Isaacs; "but you see, sir, these sort of things are always managed for gentlemen by brokers. Gentlemen never bid for themselves."