Baruch Cohen was now a little over forty. He was half a Jew, for his
father was a Jew and his mother a Gentile. The father had broken with
Judaism, but had not been converted to any Christian church or sect. He
was a diamond-cutter, originally from Holland, came over to England and
married the daughter of a mathematical instrument maker, at whose house
he lodged in Clerkenwell. The son was apprenticed to his maternal
grandfather’s trade, became very skilful at it, worked at it himself,
employed a man and a boy, and supplied London shops, which sold his
instruments at about three times the price he obtained for them. Baruch,
when he was very young, married Marshall’s elder sister, but she died at
the birth of her first child and he had been a widower now for nineteen
years. He had often thought of taking another wife, and had seen, during
these nineteen years, two or three women with whom he had imagined
himself to be really in love, and to whom he had been on the verge of
making proposals, but in each case he had hung back, and when he found
that a second and a third had awakened the same ardour for a time as the
first, he distrusted its genuineness. He was now, too, at a time of life
when a man has to make the unpleasant discovery that he is beginning to
lose the right to expect what he still eagerly desires, and that he must
beware of being ridiculous. It is indeed a very unpleasant discovery.
If he has done anything well which was worth doing, or has made himself a
name, he may be treated by women with respect or adulation, but any
passable boy of twenty is really more interesting to them, and,
unhappily, there is perhaps so much of the man left in him that he would
rather see the eyes of a girl melt when she looked at him than be adored
by all the drawing-rooms in London as the author of the greatest poem
since _Paradise Lost_, or as the conqueror of half a continent. Baruch’s
life during the last nineteen years had been such that he was still
young, and he desired more than ever, because not so blindly as he
desired it when he was a youth, the tender, intimate sympathy of a
woman’s love. It was singular that, during all those nineteen years, he
should not once have been overcome. It seemed to him as if he had been
held back, not by himself, but by some external power, which refused to
give any reasons for so doing. There was now less chance of yielding
than ever; he was reserved and self-respectful, and his manner towards
women distinctly announced to them that he knew what he was and that he
had no claims whatever upon them. He was something of a philosopher,
too; he accepted, therefore, as well as he could, without complaint, the
inevitable order of nature, and he tried to acquire, although often he
failed, that blessed art of taking up lightly and even with a smile
whatever he was compelled to handle. ‘It is possible,’ he said once, ‘to
consider death too seriously.’ He was naturally more than half a Jew;
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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