his features were Jewish, his thinking was Jewish, and he believed after
a fashion in the Jewish sacred books, or, at anyrate, read them
continuously, although he had added to his armoury defensive weapons of
another type. In nothing was he more Jewish than in a tendency to dwell
upon the One, or what he called God, clinging still to the expression of
his forefathers although departing so widely from them. In his ethics
and system of life, as well as in his religion, there was the same
intolerance of a multiplicity which was not reducible to unity. He
seldom explained his theory, but everybody who knew him recognised the
difference which it wrought between him and other men. There was a
certain concord in everything he said and did, as if it were directed by
some enthroned but secret principle.
He had encountered no particular trouble since his wife’s death, but his
life had been unhappy. He had no friends, much as he longed for
friendship, and he could not give any reasons for his failure. He saw
other persons more successful, but he remained solitary. Their needs
were not so great as his, for it is not those who have the least but
those who have the most to give who most want sympathy. He had often
made advances; people had called on him and had appeared interested in
him, but they had dropped away. The cause was chiefly to be found in his
nationality. The ordinary Englishman disliked him simply as a Jew, and
the better sort were repelled by a lack of geniality and by his inability
to manifest a healthy interest in personal details. Partly also the
cause was that those who care to speak about what is nearest to them are
very rare, and most persons find conversation easy in proportion to the
remoteness of its topics from them. Whatever the reasons may have been,
Baruch now, no matter what the pressure from within might be, generally
kept himself to himself. It was a mistake and he ought not to have
retreated so far upon repulse. A word will sometimes, when least
expected, unlock a heart, a soul is gained for ever, and at once there is
much more than a recompense for the indifference of years.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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