The "object" here was mildly prepossessing, At least, regarded in a woman's sense; His _forte_, it seems, lay chiefly in expressing Disputed fact in Attic eloquence; His ways were primitive; and as to dressing, His toilet was a negative pretence; He kept, besides, the _regime_ of the Stoic;-- In short, was not, by any means, "heroic." _Sic visum Veneri!_--The thing is clear. Her friends were furious, her lovers nettled; 'Twas much as though the Lady Vere de Vere On some hedge-schoolmaster her heart had settled. Unheard! Intolerable!--a lumbering steer To plod the upland with a mare high-mettled!-- They would, no doubt, with far more pleasure hand her To curled Euphorion or Anaximander. And so they used due discipline, of course, To lead to reason this most erring daughter, Proceeding even to extremes of force,-- Confinement (solitary), and bread and water; Then, having lectured her till they were hoarse, Finding that this to no submission brought her, At last, (unwisely[1]) to the man they sent, That he might combat her by argument. Being, they fancied, but a bloodless thing; Or else too well forewarned of that commotion Which poets feign inseparable from Spring To suffer danger from a school-girl notion; Also they hoped that she might find her king, On close inspection, clumsy and Boeotian:-- This was acute enough, and yet, between us, I think they thought too little about Venus. Something, I know, of this sort is related In Garrick's life. However, the man came, And taking first his mission's end as stated, Began at once her sentiments to tame, Working discreetly to the point debated By steps rhetorical I spare to name; In other words,--he broke the matter gently. Meanwhile, the lady looked at him intently, Wistfully, sadly,--and it put him out, Although he went on steadily, but faster. There were some maladies he'd read about Which seemed, at first, most difficult to master; They looked intractable at times, no doubt, But all they needed was a little plaster; This was a thing physicians long had pondered, Considered, weighed ... and then ... and then he wandered. ('Tis so embarrassing to have before you A silent auditor, with candid eyes; With lips that speak no sentence to restore you, And aspect, generally, of pained surprise; Then, if we add that all these things adore you, 'Tis really difficult to syllogise:-- Of course it mattered not to him a feather, But still he wished ... they'd not been left together.)