American fiction -- 19th century; Short stories, American
I wonder what the secret of it is—why that little fragment of a
musical phrase has always had this instant, irresistible power to move
me. The tune of which it formed a part I have never heard; whether it
was a merry tune or a sad tune, a pretty tune or a stupid one, I have
no means of guessing. A sequence of six notes, like six words taken
from the middle of a sentence, it stands quite by itself, detached,
fortuitous. If I were to pick it out for you on the piano, you would
scoff at it; you would tell me that it is altogether pointless and
unsuggestive, that any six notes, struck at haphazard, would signify as
much. And I certainly could not, with the least show of reason, maintain
the contrary. I could only wonder the more why it has always had, for
me, this very singular charm. As when I was a child, so now, after all
these years, it is a sort of talisman in my hands, a thing to conjure
with. I have but to breathe it never so softly to myself, and (if I
choose) the actual world melts away, and I am journeying on wings in
dreamland. Whether I choose or not, it always thrills my heart with
responsive echoes, it always wakes a sad, sweet emotion.
I remember quite clearly the day when I first heard it; quite clearly,
though it was more—oh, more than five-and-twenty years ago, and
the days that went before and came after it have entirely lost their
outlines, and merged into a vague golden blur. That day, too, as I look
backwards, glows in the distance with a golden light; and if I were
to speak upon my impulse, I should vow it was a smiling day of June,
clothed in sunshine and crowned with roses. But then, if I were to speak
upon my impulse, I should vow that it was June at Saint-Graal the whole
year round. When I stop to think, I remember that it was a rainy day,
and that the ground was sprinkled with dead leaves. I remember standing
at a window in my grandmother’s room, and gazing out with rueful eyes.
It rained doggedly, relentlessly—even, it seemed to me, defiantly,
spitefully, as if it took a malicious pleasure in penning me up within
doors. The mountains, the Pyrenees, a few miles to the south, were
completely hidden by the veil of waters. The sodden leaves, brown
patches on the lawn and in the pathways, struggled convulsively, like
wounded birds, to fly from the gusts of wind, but fell back fluttering
heavily. One could almost have touched the clouds, they hung so low, big
ragged tufts of sad-coloured cotton-wool, blown rapidly through the air,
just above the writhing tree-tops. Everywhere in the house there was
a faint fragrance of burning wood: fires had been lighted to keep the
dampness out.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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