Perhaps the most pronounced conventional distinction between the sexes
is made in their relation to marriage. For man, marriage is regarded as
a state; for woman, as a vocation. For man, it is a means of ordering
his life and perpetuating his name, for woman it is considered a proper
and fitting aim of existence. This conventional view is yielding before
the changing attitude of women toward themselves; but it will be long
before it ceases to colour the instinctive attitude of the great
majority of people toward women. It is because of the usual assumption
that marriage is woman’s special province, that I have discussed its
general aspect somewhat at length before considering its relation to
women in particular. This assumption, I may remark, has been justified
expressly or by implication by all those advocates of freedom for
women who have assured the world that woman’s “mission” of wifehood
and motherhood would be better fulfilled rather than worse through an
extension of her rights. If we imagine the signers of the Declaration
of Independence, in place of proclaiming the natural right of all men
to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, arguing with King
George that a little more freedom would make them better husbands and
fathers, we shall imagine a pretty exact parallel for this kind of
argument on behalf of the emancipation of women.
The belief that marriage and parenthood are the especial concern of
women is rooted in the idea that the individual exists for the sake of
the species. Biologically, this is of course true; but it is equally
true of male and female. Among primitive peoples, where individuation
has not progressed as far as among more highly civilized peoples, this
idea still prevails in regard to both sexes. Among these peoples the
man who must remain unmarried and childless is considered quite as
unfortunate as the woman who suffers the same fate. Among civilized
peoples, on the other hand, where individuation has progressed
farthest, it is not usual to look upon the male as existing solely
for the species; but it is usual for the female to be so regarded,
because, having had less freedom than the male, she has not been
able to assert to the same extent her right to live for herself. The
one-sided view that the future of the race depends solely on women
has curious results: a nation may send the best of its male youth
to be destroyed in war without overmuch anxiety being manifested in
any quarter over the effect of this wholesale slaughter upon future
generations; but if the idea of enlisting women in military service
be so much as broached, there is an immediate outcry about the danger
to posterity that such a course would involve. Yet it requires only a
moderate exercise of intelligence to perceive that if there must be
periodic slaughter it would be better, both for the survivors and for
posterity, if the sexes were to be slaughtered in equal numbers; and
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