Country homes -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Intellectuals -- Fiction; Satire
“One summer holidays about three years later Ferdinando returned to
Crome accompanied by a very large mastiff dog. He had bought it from an
old man at Windsor who had found the beast too expensive to feed. It
was a savage, unreliable animal; hardly had it entered the house when it
attacked one of Sir Hercules’s favourite pugs, seizing the creature in
its jaws and shaking it till it was nearly dead. Extremely put out by
this occurrence, Sir Hercules ordered that the beast should be chained
up in the stable-yard. Ferdinando sullenly answered that the dog was
his, and he would keep it where he pleased. His father, growing angry,
bade him take the animal out of the house at once, on pain of his utmost
displeasure. Ferdinando refused to move. His mother at this moment
coming into the room, the dog flew at her, knocked her down, and in
a twinkling had very severely mauled her arm and shoulder; in another
instant it must infallibly have had her by the throat, had not Sir
Hercules drawn his sword and stabbed the animal to the heart. Turning on
his son, he ordered him to leave the room immediately, as being unfit to
remain in the same place with the mother whom he had nearly murdered. So
awe-inspiring was the spectacle of Sir Hercules standing with one foot
on the carcase of the gigantic dog, his sword drawn and still bloody, so
commanding were his voice, his gestures, and the expression of his face
that Ferdinando slunk out of the room in terror and behaved himself
for all the rest of the vacation in an entirely exemplary fashion. His
mother soon recovered from the bites of the mastiff, but the effect on
her mind of this adventure was ineradicable; from that time forth she
lived always among imaginary terrors.
“The two years which Ferdinando spent on the Continent, making the Grand
Tour, were a period of happy repose for his parents. But even now
the thought of the future haunted them; nor were they able to solace
themselves with all the diversions of their younger days. The Lady
Filomena had lost her voice and Sir Hercules was grown too rheumatical
to play the violin. He, it is true, still rode after his pugs, but his
wife felt herself too old and, since the episode of the mastiff, too
nervous for such sports. At most, to please her husband, she would
follow the hunt at a distance in a little gig drawn by the safest and
oldest of the Shetlands.
“The day fixed for Ferdinando’s return came round. Filomena, sick with
vague dreads and presentiments, retired to her chamber and her bed.
Sir Hercules received his son alone. A giant in a brown travelling-suit
entered the room. ‘Welcome home, my son,’ said Sir Hercules in a voice
that trembled a little.
“‘I hope I see you well, sir.’ Ferdinando bent down to shake hands, then
straightened himself up again. The top of his father’s head reached to
the level of his hip.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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