Cynthia: With an Introduction by Maurice HewlettMerrick, Leonard
General
Cynthia: With an Introduction by Maurice Hewlett
Merrick, Leonard
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Novelists -- Fiction
The wind was causing the fire to be more a nuisance than a comfort,
and every now and then a gust of smoke shot out of the narrow stove,
obscuring the page before him, and making him cough and swear. The
atmosphere was villainous, but, excepting in these moments, he was
unconscious of it. He was near the closing lines. His empty pipe was
gripped between his teeth, and he wanted to refill it, but he couldn't
bring himself to take his eyes from the paper while he stretched for
his pouch and the matches. He meant to refill it the instant he had
written the last words, but now an access of uncertainty assailed
him and he could not decide upon them. He stared at the paper without
daring to set a sentence down, and drew at the empty bowl mechanically,
his palate craving for the taste of tobacco, while his sight was
magnetised by the pen's point hovering under his hand. He sat so for a
quarter of an hour. Then he wrote with supreme satisfaction what he had
thought of first and rejected. His pen was dropped. He drew a breath of
relief and thanksgiving, and lit his pipe. His novel was done.
Unlike the novelist in fiction again, he did not mourn beautifully that
the characters who had peopled his solitude for twelve months, and
whom he loved, were about to leave him for the harsher criticism of
the world. He was profoundly glad of it. He felt exhilaration leap in
his jaded veins as he picked up his pen and added "The End." He felt
that he was free of an enormous load, a tremendous responsibility,
of which he had acquitted himself well. Almost every morning, with
rare exceptions, for a year he had, so to speak, awakened with this
unfinished novel staring him in the face; almost every night for a
year he had gone up the stairs to the bedroom remembering what a lump
of writing had still to be accomplished. And now it was done; and
he couldn't do it better. Blessed thought! If he recast it chapter
by chapter and phrase by phrase, he could not handle the idea more
carefully or strongly than he had handled it in the bulky package that
lay in front of him--the story told!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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