His head was on fire, his body was covered with a sticky sweat, his
knees trembled. He could no longer endure the thirst that was torturing
him, and he looked around for some immediate relief. From a little
vegetable store he bought some fruit--strawberries, soft and overly
ripe--and he ate them as he walked. A very charming, forsaken little
square opened up before him. He recognized it; here he had made his
frustrated plans for flight weeks ago. He let himself sink down on the
steps of the cistern in the middle of the square, and laid his head
against the stone cylinder. It was quiet; grass was growing up through
the pavement; refuse was scattered about. Among the weather-beaten,
unusually tall houses surrounding him there was one like a palace, with
little lion-covered balconies, and Gothic windows with blank emptiness
behind them. On the ground floor of another house was a drug store. Warm
gusts of wind occasionally carried the smell of carbolic acid.
He sat there, he, the master, the artist of dignity, the author of The
Wretch, a work which had, in such accurate symbols, renounced
vagabondage and the depths of misery, had denied all sympathy with the
engulfed, and had cast out the outcast; the man who had arrived and,
victor over his own knowledge, had outgrown all irony and acclimatized
himself to the obligations of public confidence; whose reputation was
official, whose name had been knighted, and on whose style boys were
urged to pattern themselves--he sat there. His eyelids were shut; only
now and then a mocking uneasy side-glance slipped out from beneath them.
And his loose lips, set off by the cosmetics, formed isolated words of
the strange dream-logic created by his half-slumbering brain.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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