England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Sailors -- Fiction
It was a silly thing to say, and I saw it arterwards, but I was in such
a temper I ’ardly knew wot I was saying. I slammed the wicket in ’is
face and turned the key and then I took off my clothes and went down
that ladder agin.
It seemed colder than ever, and the mud when I got fairly into it was
worse than I thought it could ha’ been. It stuck to me like glue, and
every step I took seemed colder than the one before. ’Owever, when I
make up my mind to do a thing, I do it. I fixed my eyes on the place
where I thought the purse was, and every time I felt anything under my
foot I reached down and picked it up—and then chucked it away as far as
I could so as not to pick it up agin. Dirty job it was, too, and in
five minutes I was mud up to the neck, a’most. And I ’ad just got to
wot I thought was the right place, and feeling about very careful, when
the bell rang agin.
I thought I should ha’ gorn out o’ my mind. It was just a little tinkle
at first, then another tinkle, but, as I stood there all in the dark
and cold trying to make up my mind to take no notice of it, it began to
ring like mad. I ’ad to go—I’ve known men climb over the gate afore
now—and I didn’t want to be caught in that dock.
The mud seemed stickier than ever, but I got out at last, and, arter
scraping some of it off with a bit o’ stick, I put on my coat and
trousers and boots just as I was and went to the gate, with the bell
going its ’ardest all the time.
When I opened the gate and see the landlord of the Bear’s Head standing
there I turned quite dizzy, and there was a noise in my ears like the
roaring of the sea. I should think I stood there for a couple o’
minutes without being able to say a word. I could think of ’em.
“Don’t be frightened, Bill,” ses the landlord. “I’m not going to eat
you.”
“He looks as if he’s walking in ’is sleep,” ses the fat policeman, wot
was standing near by. “Don’t startle ’im.”
“He always looks like that,” ses the landlord.
I stood looking at ’im. I could speak then, but I couldn’t think of any
words good enough; not with a policeman standing by with a note-book in
’is pocket.
“Wot was you ringing my bell for?” I ses, at last.
“Why didn’t you answer it before?” ses the landlord. “D’you think I’ve
got nothing better to do than to stand ringing your bell for
three-quarters of an hour? Some people would report you.”
“I know my dooty,” I ses; “there’s no craft up to-night, and no reason
for anybody to come to my bell. If I was to open the gate every time a
parcel of overgrown boys rang my bell I should ’ave enough to do.”
“Well, I’ll overlook it this time, seeing as you’re an old man and
couldn’t get another sleeping-in job,” he ses, looking at the policeman
for him to see ’ow clever ’e was. “Wot about that tanner? That’s wot
I’ve come for.”
“You be off,” I ses, starting to shut the wicket. “You won’t get no
tanner out of me.”
“All right,” he ses, “I shall stand here and go on ringing the bell
till you pay up, that’s all.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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