Dilemmas of Pride, (Vol 2 of 3)Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
General
Dilemmas of Pride, (Vol 2 of 3)
Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
Fiction
It was getting dusk, for she did not dine till six, and while she sat
looking at the fire the days of her youth returned. She dwelt on the
thoughts of Arden Park, then her home, and of her father's princely
establishment. Now all belonged to her nephew; while she was an outcast,
almost hated, because she could not afford to be cheated; and paying
more than the half of her small income for a single sitting room, not so
good as that in which at Arden her own maid used to sit at needle-work.
At this moment the train of her reflections was interrupted by a voice
of complaint under her window. She looked out. It was raining, but there
was still twilight sufficient to discern a poor creature sitting on the
ground, and looking through the iron railing in at the kitchen-window,
where the light for cooking made the preparations for dinner visible.
The poor woman, was miserably clad! and, from her accent, Irish. She was
eloquently appealing to the compassion of the cook, while she carried in
her hand, as a sort of shield against the vigilance of English
policemen, a bundle of matches to sell, worth perhaps one half-penny.
"Ye that's warm and well fed yonder, pity the poor crathur could and wet
and hasn't broke her fast this blessed day!"
The cook's shrill voice was heard in a key of reproof.
"Oh, mistress," proceeded the mendicant, "but it ill becomes the face
that the fire's shining upon and the mate roasting before, to look round
in anger on the desolate. Sure I wouldn't be troubling you here in the
could this night if I had a hearth or a home of my own to go to!"
Mrs. Dorothea was struck with compassion for the poor wanderer. She
opened the window, handed her money from it, and ringing the bell
ordered her to have some dinner. "What a cheerful thing fire-light is!"
she thought, as she resumed her seat, unconsciously made happy by the
performance of a good action. She now remembered her late murmuring
thoughts with shame, as she contrasted her own situation with that of
the really destitute and became conscious that the source of her
discontent was not any actual deprivation, but _pride_, a pride too,
fostered into supernatural growth by the constant contemplation of the
wealth and splendour belonging to the head of her own family, "If I
could but afford to retain such a home as this," she thought, "how truly
happy I might think myself. However, the poorest lodging I am at all
likely to get into is a better shelter than many of my fellow creatures
possess; let me not, therefore, murmur!"
A dapper double rap here startled her from her reverie. "Who could be
calling at so late an hour?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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