Dilemmas of Pride, (Vol 3 of 3)Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
General
Dilemmas of Pride, (Vol 3 of 3)
Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
Fiction
In utter desolation of spirit, therefore, our unhappy hero, even at the
moment we are describing, rapidly descended the height on which the
castle stood, and strode across the wide extent of park, thus
abdicating, as it were, the princely domain of his forefathers, with
scarcely a consciousness of where he was, or what his purpose; and when,
after pursuing his journey for a time, he became capable of any approach
to reflection, his thoughts were all of wretchedness. An exile, an
outlaw, dishonoured, beggared, disguised, he was quitting his native
land, probably for ever; unless, indeed, he should be pursued and
dragged back, to suffer an ignominious death. He was, it is true, in the
very act of escaping for the present this last, and in the estimation of
most people worst, because irremediable ill; but accompanying this
reflection were sensations which, perhaps, he could not himself have
defined. For, since his sentence had been pronounced, notwithstanding
the anxious efforts still making in his behalf, he had been strenuously
preparing his mind for the most fatal issue, and, with the assistance of
the pious Mr. Edwards, endeavouring to wean his affections from things
below and to centre all his hopes in heaven. However little understood
such feelings may be by those who are engaged in the busy whirl of
terrestrial concerns, to those who have lately stood on the brink of the
grave, they possess an awful reality not soon to be forgotten.
Compared with views of peace, and rest, and hope so obtained, there was,
as a counterpoise to the mere instinct of self preservation, a strong
sense of distaste to the weary pilgrimage of life renewed; nor will this
seem overstrained, when we remember under what circumstances it was
renewed; when we contemplate the universal blight which had fallen upon
the fair spring of all his earthly prospects.
At an early hour the next morning, the melancholy ceremony of
Willoughby's funeral, which had been so long delayed in the hope of his
brother being able to take with honour his place of chief mourner, was
at length obliged to be performed in all the hopeless misery of present
circumstances. Immediately after the conclusion of the dismal
solemnities the family set out for London.
Lady Arden had determined to remain in England till every effort had
been made to obtain the reprieve of her son; but, if all failed, to join
him under a feigned name at Geneva, the place at which they had
appointed to meet; and become, for the remainder of her sojourn upon
earth, the kind companion and solace of his wanderings.
Two of her daughters were already married; Mr. Cameron had generously
declared his unaltered determination to become the husband of Madeline;
Lady Arden had that morning consigned to the grave the remains of poor
Willoughby; Alfred alone, therefore, now claimed all her care, all her
tenderness, all the consolation her maternal affection could bestow.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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