Christian life; Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Young women -- Conduct of life -- Fiction
Lady St Edmunds, on her part, more than met my advances. She treated me
with a distinction which I ascribed solely to the most flattering
partiality; and sought my society with an eagerness in which I suspected
no aim beyond its own gratification. Even now, when experience has
taught me to look through these fair seemings, I am convinced that her
affection was not entirely feigned; for I have seldom met with a heart
so callous, as not to be touched with a transient sympathy at least, by
the honest enthusiasm of youth. In the mean time, I had the more
confidence in the disinterestedness of her regard, because I could
detect no sinister motive for her attentions. Once, and only once, she
had engaged me in play; but the stake was not large, and I rose a
winner.
Miss Mortimer nevertheless continued her opposition to the acquaintance,
remonstrating against it with a perseverance and warmth which
alternately surprised and provoked me. Regarding her warnings as the
voice of that cold ungenerous suspicion which I imagined to be incident
to age, I took a perverse delight in extolling the attractions of my new
friend, and in magnifying their power over me. One prophecy of my
Cassandra was impressed upon my recollection, by its containing the only
severe expression that ever my incorrigible wilfulness could exert from
the forbearing spirit of the Christian. Among other rapturous epithets,
I called Lady St Edmunds my dear enchantress. 'Well may you give her
that name,' said Miss Mortimer, 'for she is drawing you into a circle
where nothing good or holy must tread; and if you will follow her to the
tempter's own ground, you must bid farewell to better spirits. The wise
and the virtuous will one by one forsake you, until you have no guide
but such as lead to evil, and no companions but such as take advantage
of your errors, or share in your ruin.'
It is astonishing, that beings formed to look forward so anxiously to
the future, when anxiety can be of no avail, should often treat it with
such perverse disregard, when foresight might indeed be useful. Will it
be believed, that, from this very conversation, I went to exhibit myself
to half the town, as Lady St Edmunds' companion, by attending her to an
auction?
The sale was in consequence of an execution in the house of a lady of
high fashion; and thither of course came all those of her own rank, who
wished to be relieved of their time, their money, or their curiosity.
Lord Frederick de Burgh, who seemed the almost constant associate of his
fair relative, was of our party. Indeed I could not help observing, upon
all occasions, that his attentions to me were infinitely more
particular, since my father had announced his decision. But I regarded
that decision as final; and merely inferred, that Lord Frederick, like
Miss Arnold, perceived the safety of a flirtation, which could lead to
no consequence; or that, in the true spirit of his sex, he grew eager in
pursuit, when attainment appeared difficult.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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